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big green button
— the comments : #18 —


"How do you feel?" ...


    Perfect Breakfast: Cornflakes + strawberry jam

    Annie Johnston - Manchester, ENGLAND /

    4 or 5 clients? you're not sure? they can't have been very important to you! :) - david

  2. This is stupid and a waste of time.

    Perfect Breakfast: Food

    MinyanKid7 - Anaheim Hills, CA / Homepage

    of course it is! - david

  3. Relieved that there is no more green buttons. I think this site kicked arse!! It was fun. "Yadda, Yadda, Yadda . . ."

    Perfect Breakfast: What is Breakfast?

    Vic Spinetti - /

  4. I thought I was going to regret it, but it was worth it. It put a smile on my face all day long! That button is addicting, you just have to try it! By the way, I'm a 101.1 WRIF ROCK & ROLL die hard fan and I heard about this site from DREW & MIKE!!!

    Perfect Breakfast: oatmeal cookie

    paula - michigan /

    an oatmeal cookie? wow, you really go all out, huh? and drew and mike would be ....? - david

  5. BGB Best Comment Award I dreamt I wandered through a maze of darkness
    Blinded by the pale moon of the big green button
    Forever just beyond my pointing fingers
    Those same fingers numb with anticitaption
    Of the big green button steady beneath my hand

    Perfect Breakfast: green eggs and ham

    nikki louie - monroe, oregon / Nikki's Place

    some dream, eh nikki? - david

  6. You have to make your "what would be the perfect breakfast?" space longer....I can't finish it! so i'll say it here...Fruit salad in a freshly cut pineapple topped with lemon flavored sorbet. Plus, a blueberry muffin and a glass of Tropicana homestyle orange juice. The end. Oh yah, that big green button thingy was kinda cool. Signed Adrienne :)

    Adge - USA

    your wish is my command! you wanted the breakfast space longer? you got it! - david

  7. BGB Best Comment Award david, you are a genius. this page says a lot. it means that you gave of your time to bring a little bit more insanity into the world and that is a very noble pursuit. keep up the good work. you have permanently warped my mind and i just wanted to say thanks.

    roses are red.
    violets are blue.
    the big button is green.
    and so is my shoe!

    in fact, everything is green now. my folders, my desktop, my recycling bin. i see the big button before me, i must click it...again. see, even my ability to write poetry has desintegrated because I pressed the BIG!!! GREEN!!! BUTTON!!!

    Perfect Breakfast: big green donuts!

    Mr. Green - 123 Sesame street /

    maybe i'm just a sucker for BGB poetry, but it's nice to know that something so asinine as the BGB can inspire such literary achievements! nice one mr. green! - david

  8. I wasted too much damned time on that thing!!!

    Perfect Breakfast: crawfish etoufee

    Drew McIntyre - Kernersville, NC /

    thanks for sharing - david

  9. Thanks for helping me cheat! I'm knackered and you're weird. I came here today to try to learn how to use the net and find out a bit more about you. I have and I am now very concerned. I can see I'm going to have to take you out to the pub more often but then again this may only lead to you having even more weird ideas on how to torture poor unsuspecting button addicts accross the world. It may also lead to you realising that I'm a bit of a nut too. You probably worked that out already. Just like you probably knew when you told me about the comments part that I'd get verbal shit (can't think how to spell diarehoer???) Take it easy weirdo!

    Perfect Breakfast: Full English after a Hangover!! I wish.

    Dee - Canterbury, England /

    dee, my dear housemate, you already knew what i was like before you checked out my website. i certainly knew that you were "a bit of a nut"! as far as the verbal diarrhoea (tricky word that one, huh?) is concerned, i'm starting to get used to that. i get subjected to it every day! now, when you're able to have a hangover again, i'll make you a full english breakfast! how does that sound? - david

  10. Hey! I loved the BGB2. It was really fun. I did get frustrated, but it was worth it!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Saltine Crackers

    Rachel McFadden - Indiana / Rachel's place

    frustration is usually worth it ... in the end! - david

  11. the.... button.... friend.... need...... button..... big.... green.... button... HELP!
    p.s. Please e-mail me if you know of any BGB support groups...thank you

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: s'mores

    GiNa - west chester/OH/usa /

    i'm sorry gina, i know there are some BGB support groups but they won't tell me about it! for some reason they don't want me to have any part of it. they say i've done enough already ... go figure! - david

  12. Ummm ..... yeah

    Perfect Breakfast: I think you are asking the wrong question. Food is food and food will always be food. Just thought I'd get that straight. Now that we have, we must consider deeper questions like, Give me more space!

    Yani The Former Eggman Bundros - Gilroy (the Garlic Capitol of the World), California / The Former Eggman now Big Green Button Man

    food is food?! hey man, i really think you got a problem there! for example, a frosted strawberry pop tart is just not the same as an apple/cinnammon pop tart! BIG difference! HUGE! - david

  13. I found it! I finally found it! The Big Green Button and inner peace, mixed in one! Once I navigated the Terrible Black Void, life has become much better for me! God bless you!!

    Perfect Breakfast: Peanut butter on toast, Coffee, Milk, OJ, and a couple of glazed Donuts

    Jonny Dover - North Little Rock, The State of Confusion, USA

  14. I must say, after completing this challenging game for the second time is even more thrilling then finding out your 45 year old Mom is pregnant. Not that I know what that feels like or anything. I have been thoroughly intrigued by the grand experience of pressing the green button. It only took me, oh, about 45 minutes today, as opposed to 2 hours or so the first and second time I tried. I wonder about the intelligent person behind this skilled game. What was your mind thinking as you prepared yourself for challenging the public? Could it be that you are one of the presidents comrades who is trying to take the attention off of this Monica Lewinski scandel and on to this highly interactive game? Hmmm, now there is something to ponder...

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Creamcheese icing on Nabisco Club Crackers

    Monica - Maryland, that's all you need to know /

    what was my mind thinking at the time? i was wondering how old the piece of cheese that i found behind the fridge was! however, i think i might go with the clinton/lewinski story as it'll generate just slightly more publicity for my website! - david

  15. like a car accident. you can't look away. you don't want to, but you know in you're heart it's wrong.

    Perfect Breakfast: oatmeal and hash browns ... i'm crazy 'bout my hashies

    danielle /

    ... nice analogy, but i would hazard a guess that the BGBs are not quite as lethal as a car accident. i could be wrong however ... - david

  16. BGB Best Comment Award you, david a hyland, are one of the most evil, knieving, yet subtly brilliant men in the world. by creating this "big green button" you have tapped onto the largest weaknesses of human nature. we simply cannot turn away. you mock us. you taunt us, yet we press on. even if we try to quit, knowing that this endless pressage is a waste of time, and will bring us only disapointment, we are told that we "gave in". we "aren't strong enough". well, just to spite you we turn back. into the endless void of buttons. we are just playing into your hands. your small troll-like hands. i once met a leprachaun. his name was lucky. me and him shared a bond that only few can understand. cucumber salad + ME = forever. Ducks quack. this entire comment is totally pointless. looooloooolooolooolooo. praise the donkeys!! they shall reign. why are you still reading this?!!? mind games are so much fun. oh, yeah, i found the button.

    Perfect Breakfast: corn pops. i luuuuvvv corn pops

    marielle - newark, de, usa /

    cucumber salad? the leprachaun's name was cucumber salad? or are you just waxing insanity? :) - david

  17. Absolutely the grooviest time I have ever experienced. I am honored to have been a guest. My life will never be the same!

    Perfect Breakfast: ice cream

    Lily of the Valley - Marysville, WA /

    well, you can certainly come back again any day lilly! - david

  18. That was so funny!! Probably one of the MOST interesting web pages I've ever visited!

    Perfect Breakfast: Belgin Waffles on a terrace over looking the beach in the Bahamas

    Michelle - NY /

    oooh, i think you've got the best breakfast so far michelle! - david

  19. Well the BGB was cool, but I cheated on the black page. I just started highlighting everything and that showed me where all the little boxes were :)

    Perfect Breakfast: green eggs and ham

    Marcy - Anniston, AL /

    you cheated?! marcy, i'm dissapointed! i hope you feel proud of yourself now ... - david

  20. Thank you for turning me into a vegetable...

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Fudge Rounds

    Sromgster /

    what kind of vegetable? soft or crunchy? - david

  21. I can't believe you! What kind of sick person would make this sort of internet site that sends people on this endless search for a green button! It took me almost an hour to get through 1 and 2! You must be the sickest person I know to actually create something like this. Sick, sick, sick, sick, sick... There should be some sort of law against some people this mentally deranged. I think you have just inspired me to write to my local statesperson to prohibit sites like these. If you can't tell by my tone already that I'm sarcastic, then you really are sick. It was really fun and thanks for making it!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: ice cream

    Adam - Houston, T

    sarcasm? hey, we english invented sarcasm! - david

  22. well I had to cheat on big green button 1 to find the last page:) I skipped the big black screen and went into the URL :) and then on to the last page:) But this time round I stayed until I tested all the big green buttons:)...Ok, well not ALL of them. Obviously I stopped here. LOL. Kind of a shame the creator didn't put more time into this by listing more dead ends:) Or more funny lines. It became an obsessive quest for me to find the elusive right big green button :) Yeah so I haven't got much to do...Think of it this way...Big green button 2 is a reflection of the Net as a whole, a futile search resulting in frustration and new found profanity!! hehehehe. Longest comment you've ever read eh? Well here's to a big green button 3D web site =) Imagine having big green buttons surrounding you leading you thru a maze of wrong ways :) Perhaps even a maze of tubes where you ride them trying to find your way out...A VR time waster :)

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: cold pizza straight from the fridge:)

    Bob S. Laquer - /

    Big Green Button 3D? i like the idea! if anyone out there does 3D graphics work, VRML, or similar, and would like to be involved in the production of BGB3 then please get in touch with me! thanx - david

  23. BGB Best Comment Award
    I DID IT!!

    Pushed buttons all summer
    been feeling all but well!
    Here´s the worst bummer...
    My work went straight to hell

    The green button is dead
    it will no more curse my house
    It stained all my hardware red
    I will miss my apple desktop mouse

    Now I will have ended my life
    No more shiver nor heavy breathing!
    didn´t even need no knife...
    my fingers wouldn´t stop bleeding

    Svein´s last words from a red keayboard

    Perfect Breakfast: cereals(cyanid & razorblades)

    Svein Kvamme - Bergen, Norway /

  24. I went so nutz that I drooled all over the keyboard and electrocuted myself...

    Perfect Breakfast: Spoon-sized shredded meat


    that's gotta sting - david

  25. I feel knackered, I started it today when I should have been doing my Computing Project and I finished it tonight when I should've been writing my M.I.S. essay. Its an excellent idea and I wish I'd thought of it first. Quite witty, but don't let that go to yer head!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: cheese and crackers

    Ian Mitchell - Livingston/West Lothian/Scotland /

    hey, it's nice to find someone who uses the word "knackered" and knows what it means! - david

  26. I think that Big Green Button 2 was better than the first. It was kewl. U should make #3. The page with all the buttons was addicting.... and annoying. Well, adios all.

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: pepperoni and cheese

    Brian - Beacon, NY /

    pepperoni & cheese? how? just on their own? on toast? in a bagel? tell me more! - david

  27. I had so much fun, I actually enjoyed clicking on America Online now! (the wait doesn't even matter!)

    Perfect Breakfast: I hate breakfast

    Sameer Asad - Yorba Linda/CA/USA / Common Apparitions

    how can you hate breakfast?! what kind of weirdo are you?! breakfast is the meal of the gods ... or something like taht anyway? - david

  28. "DEAR" DAVID!! I would not go as far as call it an addiction, it is more like an obsession. Anyway, I said to myself the other day "look S, get a hold of your self! You can get over this! Sure it will take some effort, but remember this: There is millions of buttons in the real world! Physical, funny and perfectly sane buttons! Like bellybuttons...women bellybuttons...with piercings..." I ANSWERED MYSELF THAT WHO THE HELL WAS I TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! So I turn to thee...The Creator and curse, to hear if you think my solution is for the best. (after all you are the foremost expert on the Post-BGB-Syndrome). My problem is as follows: This morning I went to the hardware store and bought a whole case of green spraypaint. (for therapy purpose, of course) And what else than green buttons is it to paint? Beautiful green buttons...green button grafitti. Now my canister is empty and my girlfriend can´t seem to get off the paint...! Do you figure I should sue the paint manufacturer?
    Yours sincerely S

    Perfect Breakfast: Decline to state

    S as in Psunspot - Ekravegen 15 Indre Arna /

    sue the paint maufacturer? no, i think you should sue your psychiatrist for telling you that you were okay! - david

  29. Hello David ... dorry aboudt dhe lousy sbellindg but I cut off my nose to get closer to dhe greedh butthodh ... I feel better now!

    Perfect Breakfast: eggs´n´toast

    sphinx - *still a "tad" disoriented* /

    you should count yourself lucky ... one frantic BGB pusher emailed me to tell me that she had gnawed off her own fingers in a desperate attempt to force herself away from the BGBs. she must have typed the email with her nose ... so your predicament could be a lot worse! - david

  30. Hello this is Svein from 18th-23, sending you yet another comment, this time from the other side. Sadly, people who "do themselves in" usually don´t get to go to heaven, but HE (God) is wery familiar with the term you like to call post big green button withdrawal. In fact there is a whole lot of us up here in paradise with the PBGB-syndrome. And HE seems to think that we already have been beyond HELL, and as a direct consequence, we recive a compensation in form of eternal life. Good deal, huh? Things here are in fact quite similar to life on earth, but there is not so many big green buttons as you would think...wery few green buttons...one green button...one green...one too much... well, you see the devine green button is only for God to push and IT IS a BIG BAD one too. The thing is that i browsed Gods divine computer the other day, the so called "Big Mac" (which unfortunatly is directly connected to the wery same button) to find out what YOU, David A. Hyland were keeping in your bedroom drawer (Naugthy green buttons magazine...you freak), when suddenly the big Green Bad Baby Baba press-on-thing caught my eye...
    And David....how to say it...... YOU´RE GOING DOWN!!!!

    Perfect Breakfast: toast...

    Perfect Midnight Munchie:

    SVEIN - /

    greetings to you from this side! it's nice to know that you still think of us mere mortals after you've gone. thanks for writing. i have just one question, however ... why would you want to know what was in my bedroom drawers?! - david

  31. This is the best online game EVER!!! I just wish it were a little harder. BGB and BGB2 are awesome. The only thing is now all I see are these stupid green buttons everywhere I look. Thanx a million!

    Perfect Breakfast: BGB3 and a tall glass of Orange juice

    Scott - Phila., PA, /

  32. I feel like a pile of mushrooms. One question: Is there any relation between the Jolly Green Giant and the Big Green Button? Possibly the BGB could be a fetus or something .... just wondering.

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: A young Elizabeth Taylor

    Yani Bundros - Gilroy, CA / globalfrontiers

    well yani, i've been trying to keep this a secret for as long as possible, but it would seem that the cat is out of her proverbial bag now. the big green button is actually the love child of the jolly green giant ... one too many corn cobs methinks - david

  33. Goodness, I certainly don't have the patients for this game. It was quite an operation to negotiate the void I needed x-ray vision to close the task. The people watching me were in stitches as I was indoctorinated into the world of the big green button. Those guys had no heart, but I had the guts to give it a shot. You really should scrub some of those button comments ... the cast of comments was a little too stiff.

    Perfect Breakfast: a little free time

    Curious George - Marysville, Washington /

  34. First off I'd like to say you're an evil sadistic piece of ****. Okay now that that is out of my system I want to compliment you on making people like me go insane. I spent an hour and a half on here when I could've been .........well .......okay so I had nothing better to do, BUT if I had something better to do I.....probably......wouldn't of stopped anyways. It's just so addictive. I'll probably have nightmares about a bunch of green buttons forever. By the way, thanks for not making a BGB3, I wouldn't be able to keep away from it. So in conclusion, Your cool!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: GREEN CHEESE!

    Matt - Wichita Kansas / My Lair

    an evil sadistic piece of what? lint? pie? cheese? - david

  35. BGB Best Comment Award Wow. That was cool. I have tried it before...but couldn't finish it. That night, i had this dream that i was wandering thru darkness and could see nothing but a little white hand every once in a while. everytime i saw it i fell into a black hole and was right back where i started. gee that was freaky. I woke up the next morning in a cold sweat. Then i had to go to my phyciatrist. I was diagnosed with grenbutophobia. After 8 months of therapy, i finaly got up the nerve to confront my fear. By that time i was mature enough to begin to look at the source, write down numbers, and try them all out. Gee was that smart. And here i am today...to show the world what i have accomplished. YEA!!!!!!!

    Perfect Breakfast: um..a green toaster strudel with 5 drops of medication for grenbutophobia.

    Summer - Oklahoma /

    so summer, basically what you're saying is that after your eight months of therapy all you've accomplished is the ability and the will to cheat?! - david

    Summer also wrote: Oh..uh...me again. I have contemplated this whole thing and i really think that you have something here. I mean, once one figures it out one is one with oneself and one with one big green button. So like I think that if one is one with oneself then one could be one with one other one. And if you think about it when one is one with one other one then one has one opportunity for one to become one with every one. And if one is one with one or every one then every one is one with one. Therefore every one is one with every one. Get what Im sayin? k...so all in all this whole big button concept is going to unite the world in peace and unity. i am beginning to think this was your whole point from the beginning.
    Oh and PS. Why isnt "ONE" spelled "WUN cuz "O-N-E" sounds more like "Own" and um, PSS. I am not a nut. I am a logical thinker

    huh?! i think the phrase "shot to bits" comes to mind! - david

  36. It's fun when there's nothing better to do Have fun solving them both I did! I didn't cheat AND to everyone who did not find the green button on the Black page There is one if you don't trust david trust ME there is A green Button on the last page. Hi david your Green button idea rocked now I am addicted to little Buttons of any color!!!! thanx

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Pretzels

    Lauri - Jacksonville/FL/Usa / Movies

    what do you mean if they don't trust me? aren't i trustworthy? i'm deeply hurt ..... :( - david

  37. did you know that red is the exact opposite to green?

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: mmm...trees

    Sromgster TenNenzen - /

    no way?! i don't believe you! - david

  38. I'm proud to say that I was more than half an hour to complete bgb2! :) Well ... just to pretend I DO have a life I'dd like to say that I work in an internet-cafe, and are bored about 8 hours a day and actually get paid for it. Can't wait till a bgb3 will be out :) Have you considered using cookies ? Then you would actually have people press ALL buttons before they reach the end :) Of course it would mean about 200 cookies to accept, but who cares... It'd be fun anyways :)

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Italian meatballs on white bread

    Casper Niebe - Copenhagen, Denmark / SMP

    yes, it would be better ... but it would also result in far more depressed and frustrated button pushers that there are now! i don't know if could live with that kind of responsibility! - david

  39. 1. I ACTUALLY EXPECTED to see a few naked nimphoids doing themselfs wit large sticks made of orchid leaves or something.
    2. Nevermind 1.
    3. I'm gonna get fired 'cause I'm gonna be late for work later this morning.
    4. From now on you'll pay my bills.

    Perfect Breakfast: tonsils

    Denis - Zagreb / Croatia /

    1. sorry about that
    2. indeed
    3. see #1
    4. gas or "health farm"? - david

  40. <*sigh*> I was just searching for a nice button image for my website....

    Perfect Breakfast: coffee and sunny-side-up

    KazmaS - Kobe / Hyogo / Japan / KazmaS's

    and of all the buttons in all the world, you had to stumble across this one ... - david

  41. BGB Best Comment Award I feel completely stupid! I visited your BGB site and was instantly trapped in the ominous void of lifelessness and helplessness as I became enslaved to your Big Green Button. . .oh, the very name sends sensational chills up and down my spine. Big Green Button. BIG GREEN BUTTON! Button Green Big. Bug Green Bitton. Big Gutt Brontee. Butt Groen Benig. Sorry, I guess it overcame me again. I'll try to contain myself. Anyway, after I fell captive to the spell of the BGB I was sent plumeting into the void of the "dark page" as I like to call it. I spent an exuberent amount of time pressing all of your false BGB's, which I call "bgb's" and was about to forfeit my right to live, when I stumbled, quite accidentally, upon the true BGB. I was filled with joy and happiness. I quickly went to your "comments" page and read what others said. I was greatly dismayed that many know of ways to bypass the actual work involved in the "dark page" by using computer lingo and crap to discifer you codes. I felt "out of the loop" as they say. Now don't ask me who, because I cannot tell you exactly. Anyway, thank you for giving me purpose for my days and entertainment for my nights.

    Perfect Breakfast: Big Green Eggs, Big Green Waffles, Big Green Toast, Big Gre.. wait, that wouldn't be my perfect breakfast. Hey, who tricked me. I would just like a banana and some Rice Crispies. Thank you!

    Taylor Joseph - United States of America / etc /

    banana and rice crispies! that surely has to be the ultimate! - david

  42. You have WAY too much time on your hands!!!

    Perfect Breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, oatmeal and toast with lots of jelly, hot chocalate, orange juice, served to me IN bed by a muscular handsome servant

    Autumn Jean Shelly Sue Bubba Jones - Nashville TN /

    and you have WAY too much breakfast! - david

  43. When I started with the BGB2, I had no idea what I was getting into... I spent damn near an hour attempting to find an ending. Afterwords I thought to myself,"what kind of a life do I have?". I felt really bad about myself that I had that much time to spend doing nothing but clicking big green buttons, then I thought about it. I'm not the one with no life! I could only imagine how long it must've taken to put it together! HAHA, who's the loser now???

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Santa Fe Gorditas

    Rob Reder - Chicago, IL /

    i see your point rob, but look at it this way: i spent maybe a few hours putting BGB2 together. to date (sept 8, 1998) over 330,000 people have trawled their way through it. let's say that each person spends an average of, say, 15 minutes doing BGB or BGB2. thats .... um ... er ... 82,500 hours, or 3438 days, or 491 weeks, or 114 months, or 9 1/2 years of other people's lives, evaporated into the ethereal void of the big green button, in just over a year! now that's what i call a magnificent waste of time! - david

  44. This is actually about the first button. After reading the other comments I realize now that I was not alone in cheating. When I came to the big black page I just moved the mouse all around until the arrow turned into a hand. I feel like a complete failure. I never quite conquered the button. Please, put out a 3rd button so I can beat it fair and know that I am capable of that. PLEASE! How am I supposed to face people knowing that I cheated!

    Leigh - PA, USA /

    leigh, just keep your back turned at all times ... that way you won't have to face people! - david

  45. BGB Best Comment Award *click* *click* Noooo!! *click* *click* *click* Aauuurrrghh!!!(pant, pant, sigh) *click* *click* *click* (sigh) *click* *click* *click* @#!$%^$#!!! *thud* *thud* *thud* (deep breath, shudder) *click* *click* AAUUGGGHHHH!!! *thump* *thump* *thud* (pause) *scuffle* *scuffle* (pause) *whoosh* *BANG* *BANG* *CLANG* *CRUNCH* *BANG* *CRASH* HA HA HA HAHA!!! (pause) (whimper) *click* *click*...

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Salamander paste with cheez whiz and chocolate sprinkles

    Kalani - Grid 49, Four Stars Slave Market, Sector 3 /

    not much that can be said to that! - david

  46. uuuuh...I feel ... uuuh...tired. NO! uuuhh, strawberry?

    Buster - Norway / FAKE PAGE

    just keep taking the tablets and you'll be fine! (actually, who am i to speak?!) - david

  47. BGB Best Comment Award NEWSFLASH. A team of archaeologists, unearthing the ancient foundations of Western civilisation (which was all but extinguished in 2073 when a giant space dog mistook Planet Earth for a blue M&M) have found an extraordinary discovery.

    Apparently, the western race was enslaved to a mysterious deity, known as `Big Green Button', which would cause a kind of hypnotic trance in any worshipper, and obsessive compulsive button-pushing behaviour. Government documents, unearthed at the time, seem to detail how the cultish worship of the `Big Green Button', and its twin, the `Big Green Button 2', transcended the ranks of society, so much so that the then President Clinton, the Queen of England and even Saddam Hussein were frequent button pushers.

    A source said of the BGB, `Apparently it must have provided this primitive people with some form of pleasure, along with a purpose in life - apart from killing each other. Statues of the Big Green Buttons have been found to be erected in several cities across the States, for people to push whenever they needed this sensation. It would seem that after the computers failed in the year 2000, the whole civilization lost its sense of destiny. They were almost waiting for that space dog to come and uproot their islands with its tongue, and drown their cities in oceans of saliva.'

    Professor Lletuoynacderobmai, the man who co-ordinated the archaeological dig, was unfortunately unavailable for further comment on his find, having locked himself in his laboratory with the discovery. Passers-by are alleged to have heard intermittent button-pushing noises from within.

    Perfect Breakfast: A nice burnt greasy shish kebab... yum

    Quint - London, UK /

    let this be a lesson to you all! no one will ever be safe from the BGB ... (especially not this guy!) - david

  48. That SOB sucked the life out of me for two hours. David, you are the antichrist

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: cheese biscuts and sausage

    Milo Baker - Humble, TX USA /

    ooh, you are too kind. now that's something i've never been called before - david

  49. I'm very irritated, what the hell was the point with this? At least I'd expected something better then this after the hell i had to go through to get here! Well, at least now I know, never do this, it's not worth it. But you can't help it can you? It's too f*****g tempting to press that button. So I guess i have to say that David has done a pretty good job after all, don't I?

    Linda - Norway, Bjerkreim /

    you don't have to say that linda, but thanks anyway! - david

    linda later wrote: Hello again David, It's me, Linda from Norway. I just have to say, after reading all those other messages, i think I'm the only one who actually found the button, I found it on the black page, WITHOUT CHEAATING and I found it on the "billion button page" HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!! When are you gonna make more buttons? WHEN ??????

    it's all downhill from here linda, i've seen it too many times before ... a person starts out hating the BGB and finds it annoying, pointless and a waste of time. then they come back. they always do. they have a sense of pride in conquering BGB2. they boast. they beg for a third. subconsciously they have a problem ... but won't admit to it. linda, just say no! while you still have a chance! - david

  50. It took me two weeks to work though this maze of the eater of all sanity. I hope it didn't take you as long cause if it did, I'm truly sorry.

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: choclate chip cookie dough (not the icecream the dough)

    Karen "Tinkerbelle" Lynn - Houston, Tx, USA /

    karen, thanks for your concern, but no, it didn't take me long. however, out of interest see comment #43 above. as far as your midnight munchie goes, right on! - david

  51. BGB Best Comment Award I pity any fellow carbon-based lifeform that spends years maintaining a website that involves the sadistic manipulation of human minds for the sole purpose of getting a laugh out of how they write comments about how their lives were drastically changed, or how much they want kill you. I'm sure I'm speaking for all the people who fell into your unholy web of mental anguish when I say SHAME! Instead of using the internet for evil, you could use it for good, such as creating a site that helps emotionally scarred gerbils get back on their feet. Or a chat room for those mutated Minnosota frogs so they can tell how having an extra pair of legs changed their lives. Truthfully, anything would be better than, than...this thing of pure evil.

    Upon completing the BGB, I developed a few compariosons I would like to share with you:
    BGB: toe lint
    BGB: Republican party
    BGB: ebola virus
    BGB: EVIL!
    BGB: rabid chichihuas
    BGB: eight legged mule
    BGB: Barney
    BGB: diseased cow bladder
    BGB: sad...sad...sad
    BGB: double EVIL!
    BGB: infected leech
    BGB: overflowing septic tank
    David A. Hyland: Richard Nixon's clone

    Perfect Breakfast:

    Perfect Midnight Munchie:


    richard nixon's clone?! i was following you up until then! - david

  52. BGB Best Comment Award If I was southern, I'd say something like, "I do Declare, you've got severe problems." However, I'm not. I live in the state of insanity (actually, I'm Canadian, and I do spell cheque with a q, and colour with a u.. but I put z's in my realize, sorry) and I wanted to commend you on your thorough ability to make a connection with my messed up mentality.

    A long time ago, I was subjected to the wonders of BGB. At the time, I was quite impressed, and looking back, I think you may be the one who caused me to go just a bit odd. Eventually, the green buttons faded, but I stayed strange. Hell, one day, I proclaimed myself the God of Insanity, and set up a cult (Care to join? :) No membership fees, no killing anyone, and no suicide when comets come near.

    However, while doing a web search today for something, your BGB page came up again. I had a quick peek, and lo and behold, Bgb2 was there, which just had to be done. The green buttons called. I hit each and every green button in BGB2, even after I had found the exit, just to read your witty comments (the organgutan one got me laughing really hard)

    Of course, you probably receiive a lot of mail/comments like this. This one's different. Really. It is. And because of that, you feel a compulsion to write back with wit and insanity. And reasonably soon.

    However, I have pushed the BGB's from my mind. I'll probably forget about them by tomorrow, but thanks for the waste of 30 minutes. :)

    TazQ, God of Insanity /

    greetings TazQ ... out of the deepest, darkest recesses of my otherwise addled mind, i do remember you (BGB Comments Page 3, #73)... probably because you have somewhat of a memorable name! i'm not entirely sure whether to feel honoured or worried that your cult was inspired by my BGBs ... what should i feel? it is encouraging however that you don't set your cult clock by comets and other space debris. that's gotta be a good thing, surely? mind you, i reluctantly decline your more than generous offer to join your band of merry men (and women, of course) ... which reminds me, just how many members do you have? - david

  53. I awoke and it was calling. I answered and it spoke. I pressed and it responded. I followed and it led. I am here and it is there. I am the button.

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: a button

    button - button county /

    hmm, somewhat of a personality complex here methinks - david

  54. My daughter made me do it...honest...I wanted to quit but she kept saying "Just one more time, mommy, pul-eeeeeeeze! Mommy, JUST ONE MORE STINKIN' TIME!" So I kept going and going just like the Energizer Bunny. Only I didn't feel like a bunny, I felt like a goat. baaaaaa!
    p.s. My daughter is 19 years old.

    Perfect Breakfast: vodka and orange juice

    Carol Ann - Marlton, NJ USA /

    carol, i can't believe you're blaming your daughter for your own weakness! what kind of mother/goat would do such a thing? obviously one who has screwdrivers for breakfast! ;) - david

  55. not to exaggerate or embellish, but the big green button has been the most important experience of my life thus far! i shall never forget it...as hard as i may try.....i thoroughly enjoyed wasting a half an hour in an unknown black abyss until i thought to myself "duh, jane, you have NETSCAPE....check the SOURCE"......so i copied down the link destinations and tried my luck! was this cheating? i think YOU cheated by saying there was only ONE link in the Big Black Abyss.... ok, i'm done.

    Perfect Breakfast: scrambled eggs...or honey nut cheerios...or cold pizza ... i'm easy to please

    janeabeth - oley, PA / janeabeth's attic

    the most important experience of your life thus far? i'm sorry to have to say this janeabeth but you oviously have not had very many experiences! the BGB is a blip, a blotch, a pimple in the grand scheme of life (albeit a very cool blip, blotch and pimple!) - david

  56. I feel like I have really accomplished greatness (in a weird sort of way) since it only took me a few minutes to complete BGB and BGB2. What a great stress reliever! (This is because I have four children, for others this site may actually CAUSE stress!) Thanks for the FUN!!!!!!!!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: popcorn with M&Ms mixed in it

    Terri Oxner - Maumelle/AR/USA /

    peanut or plain? - david

  57. That was perhaps the best spent minutes/hours/brain cells of my life. Thank you David!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Oreo cheesecake

    Ms. H. Cheeky - Ottawa, ON, Canada / The Gnome Page

    well at least you lost brain cells in a most productive way! - david

  58. sitting here in a dimmly lit room with my feet in warm fuzzy socks and i feel nothing but pure bliss on finding your wonderful button ) i found it a couple years ago but to come back and see my old green friend...well...what a reunion!! thank you for a wonderful time!

    Perfect Breakfast: anything if you were sitting across from me!

    miranda harter :) - columbia city, IN USA

    miranda ... it's great to hear from you again. i thought you'd vanished off the face of the earth! warm fuzzy socks huh? nothing better! - david

  59. i was...i was so so...i couldn't...i mean...i was...*humilated* addicted...my willpower gave out...the ONLY thing left in the world that mattered...was...was...was the BIG GREEN BUTTON....morning noon and night, i clicked...clicking...clicking...fingers aching from the horrible nightmare of the WRONG WAY red sign, tears flowed from my eyes...i would collapse in fits of humiliation...that...that a BUTTON could get the best of me...i HAD to finish...nothing else would give me pleasure...i NEEDED the accomplishment...the BUTTON called me.... rooooooses... rooooooses.... cliiiiick the BUUUUUUTTON rooooses....puuuuush iiiiit...you knooooow you neeeeed the BUUUUUUTTON.... DAY IN DAY OUT BUTTON BUTTON BUTTON GOD HELP US ALL!!! DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE ALIENS....THE BUTTON IS TAKING OVER THE WOOOOOOOOOORLD *runs away screaming*

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: EAT WHO CAN EAT LOOKING AT THAT GREEN BUTTON!?!?!?

    MoodyRoses - / MoodyRoses' Poetry

    moody, you know what .... you're crazier than i am! - david

  60. Well David, whoever you are, you are one sick puppy to create a Big Green Button, never mind two! What could have gone through your sick twisted mind to make you want drive all of us innocent surfers out of our minds? Never mind, I probably don't want to know. Anyhow, at least I can say I got a laugh out of it, as did my sister (watching me pull out my hair in frustration as I hit all those dead ends). I think I'll recomend this site to my cousin Barney (no kidding, that's really his name!), he fell for those 'turn over the card to keep an idiot busy for hours' cards. The strange thing is is that now that I'm finally done I have this strange urge to press more Big Green Buttons. AHHHH!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Chocolate Oreo Ice-Cream

    S. S. - Delta / British Columbia /

    what went through my sick twisted mind? obviously something very sick and twisty! - david

  61. Just further proof that we're all lemmings!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Onion rings

    Daryl Westfall - Nashville, TN, USA / Six One Five Dot Com

  62. BGB2 is an insidious abomination, a monstrously twisted labyrinth of anguish and self-loathing. When will there be a BGB3? Please hurry!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Peking duck

    Sam - Austin, Texas /

    BGB3 is currently in production! (ie, i'm thinking about it!) - david

  63. Of course I could have quit any time I wanted, I just chose notto. And for a big green button, it really wasn't all that big...

    Perfect Breakfast: Big green eggs and turkey ham

    MJ - California /

    hey, size isn't everything you know - david

  64. you changed BGB1. you made the black page harder.oh, sure thought no one would notice, eh? thought no one one would be so devoid of any life whatsoever to actually play BGB twice, huh? well, those of us who are desparate for a #3 have to make do somehow! oh, sure, you have the time and energy to make BGB harder, but you dont have time to make a BGB3?! HA! *maniacal laughter*
    Respectfully, one of your lemmings.
    PS. in your FAQ, you say there will be a BGB3 when you get a check (yes I'm one of those stupid Americans who can't spell cheque) with some 0's on it... but you never gave us your snail mail address. hmmm.......

    Perfect Breakfast: holland cream long john donut

    Mr green

    do you really think people would send me their hard earned cash if i did publish my snail mail address? no, more like death threats! - david

  65. it's over? wow, is it really OVER?! it's just another one of the buttons's evil tircks isn't it? isn't it!!! i think i got the second one angry, it came back with about 80 of its friends! i hope they're not after me now! took... me... hours... to find... right... button!!! i know this is all a trick, i'll sing on tomorrow and the attack shall begin won't it!!! green buttons everywhere!!!! AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! ::starts singing green button song she made up:: lalala, we love green buttons oh yes we do! and they are making us go crazy yeah! i sent the link to all my friends.. gee, i'm still laughing my head off from their attempts (unfortunately, then they finished when i was still at it!)

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: pixie stix

    jane - wayne, nj /

    too much funky sugar for you jane! - david

  66. I feel strangly hollow inside, like the proverbial Easter chocolate bunny. Sure, things LOOK great. Put a little yellow ribbon around my neck, stick me in some fake, purple tinted plastic grass, and call me edible. However... I've begun to question all that I hold dear. Things are beginning to fall apart. The fabric of my life is starting to fray. Yet I find myself strangely.... attracted to the madness that is pushing these little green buttons. MUST... KEEP.... PUSHING.....

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: I prefer a healthy diet of polyester/argyle

    Molly K. M. Malone - Old New York (Once "New Amsterdam") / Pickle Power

    ah, but that very same proverbial easter chocolate bunny is exceedingly tasty ... and sometimes contains extra goodies sealed within its chocolately exterior. so it can't be all that bad! - david

  67. I have just visited this site for the first time. I pressed these Big Green Buttons for about 5 minutes and then bingo! "Congratulations, you have passed the test". I haven't got a clue what I did and I will bet I won't be able to do it again.

    wales - wales /

    how much are you willing to bet jules? - david

  68. BGB Best Comment Award

    DAY 1:
    I have recently found a website called the Big Green Button. I find this website intriging from its promises of providing global unity, however I cannot shake this ominous feeling of doom.
    I have just completed the Big Green Button. I find myself left with a feeling of oneness with the universe and the sensation of being able to die happy. The feeling of doom persists.

    DAY 2:
    I have found the BGB so enjoyable that I have given the address to many of my friends. I believe that because of the BGB, my outlook on life is now much more optimistic. I have also begun to feel a slight tingling sensation in my right eyebrow which lasts for only a few moments at a time. No explanation.

    DAY 3:
    I have begun to notice several peculiarities since I visited the BGB. It seems that whenever I walk by an animal, they stop in their tracks,and give me the evil eye. The tingling sensation in my eyebrow has intensified and is now constant. I have also developed a liking of Cheech and Chong movies. I believe that the ominous feeling I had in response to the BGB might have merit.

    DAY 4:
    The situation has grown worse. It seems that everything that has eyes now gives me the evil eye. I was surfing through channels and I came across a station with Barney singing a rather snappy tune (why I thought it was snappy, unknown) to a group of small children. After a few moments, Barney stopped singing and stared directly at the camera, at me, as were the children, and were all giving me the evil eye. Slowly, the the rest of the cast and crew walked into the vision field of the camera and joined Barney in evil eyeing me. I knew they were looking at me since wherever I moved in my living room, they would turn their heads in my direction. My eyebrow has stopped tingling, and has instead started to throb in tune with the beat of many ZZ Top songs, which for some bizzare reason, I also find snappy.

    DAY 5:
    I have to find a way to stop whatever it is that is happening to me. Not only are all things with eyes evil eyeing me, they are evil nostriling mae at the same time! It seems that my throbbing eyebrow is an indicator of the severity of the situation. The more severe the more it acts up. I'm afraid I might be losing my mind.

    DAY 6:
    I now have to struggle to keep my sanity every minute of the day against the constant bombardment of evil eyes and evil nostrils. I'm begining to hallucinate as well. I see gerbils dressed as monks appear out of thin air and tell me that I was wrong for visiting the BGB. I'm begining to think that they are right, but I have to see for nothing but morbid curiosity how far this will go.

    DAY 7:
    The gerbil monks have turned into goat monks. After they tell me that I shouldn't have visited the BGB, they all kick me simultaneously. I keep telling myself that they are just hallucinations, that its all in my mind, but this doesn't go along with the fact that after the goats disappear, I find myself on the other side of the room with bruises in the shape of goat hooves.

    DAY 8:
    I can't take it anymore! I can't go five minutes without gerbil-monks, goat-monks, squid-monks, emu-monks, or some-other-blasted-animal-monks telling me that I shouldn't have gone to the BGB and doing some kind of bodily harm to myself afterwards, except for the squid monks. They spray me with black ink. If anyone reads this jounal, I warn you never to even think of going to the BGB website! If you do, you will be visited for the rest of your life by various animals dressed as monks who lay shame on you and then kick you, hit you, or squirt you with ink! BEWARE! BEWARE! BEWAR-Ow! Darn my eyebrow! BEWARE OF YOUR EYEBROWS AS WELL WHILE YOU'RE BEWARING THE BGB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Perfect Breakfast: A nice scottish dish at the International House of Hagus

    anonymous /

    DAY 9 ... i can see no alternative but to become a monk! it's the only way i can escape this insidious madness!
    DAY 10 ... i have joined a monastery up in the tibetan mountains. it's very quiet. but thankfully there are no green buttons. tomorrow i take my vow of silence
    DAY 11 ...
    DAY 12 ...
    DAY 13 ...
    - david

  69. BGB Best Comment Award Over 362,000 served; at an average of 30min per victim; 181,000 hours stolen from humanity. Over 7541 days, thrown into a bottomless pit, the entire life of a twenty year old man. Satan works hard to dream up potent drinks, games of chance and old professions, with which to steal the gift of life. With only one green button, and a few potent taunts, you have achieved the same. Satan works hard. David A Hyland works smart.

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Tomorrow's Cake (Can't have it nor eat it)

    Calm Horizons - Tokyo, Japan /

    hmmmm .... being alikened to satan, but smarter ... i don't know if i should be thankful or concerned! however, i figured that i have stolen 10 years of other peoples' lives (see #43 above) but you put it at 20 years. i don't know whether to apologise to you all or smile whimsically! - david

  70. You know, it's funny. I sat here for a good...oh, 1 1/2 hours trying to find your stinking buttons. And my sanity was still intact, as was the better part of the day. After all, 1 1/2 hours doesn't take all that much out of a day, really. Then, I decided to take a peek at your 'comments' section. ~You, Mr. Hyland, are an evil, evil man.~ Now, I sit here at 9:42 pm, writing this message with the remainder of my mental energy. I've spent entirely too much time reading the endless accounts of people's experience with the BGB. That, if nothing else, has begun to send me over the edge. I know. It's my fault. And I realize that. But, after being taunted into pressing button after god-forsaken button, you can't help but be easily pawned into reading pages of comments. Am I making any sense whatsoever? I didn't think so. Well, anyhow, here I am, sending my own pathetic response to the enigma that is the BGB, adding my own mark to the timeless wall of writings that reside here on these pages. Thank you, David. You've made my day :)

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Ice cream sandwiches and Tequilla Rose

    Cindy - La Grande, OR / Just a glimpse...

    i really am starting to get worried now. so many people have called me evil, or words to that effect. but i'm not, i promise you! i'm really a nice guy! ask anyone who knows me! (actually, on second thoughts, don't .... just take my word for it!) - david

  71. I have decided to share BGB & BGB2 with my friends and family. I have very few friends left, now, and my family has disowned me. I do however want to thank you for debunking the myth that the web is full of useless homepages created by those who have too much time to waste. Yours is a wonderful site for those who seek intellectual stimulation and deep meaning in life. Wait a minute! I think i've been hypnotized by the big green button!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Double decker taco from taco bell covered with hot sauce and dipped in that cheese-type stuff that comes with nachos. Unless, of course, I'm sober at midnight.

    Eric - CT /

    hypnotised by the BGB? i don't think so ... more like full of BS! but man, that taco sounds great! sometimes i really wish we had Taco Bell here in england! - david

  72. I use the net w/o graphics - since they were turned off, finding BGBOBP (big green button on black page) was quick work. I clicked on all the spots marked "image" - and whatdaya know? So I said to myself: "Off you go -- take your little button on home now." But oh no, there are pages and pages of odd, train-wreck, must see comments. What was I doin' jebbing around in all that? I do mean jebi se!! I'm going to bed, and if I'm lucky, my perfect breakfast will give me the kick in the head I so readily invite right now.

    Perfect Breakfast: VERY strong, sweet, coffee + dash-o-highfatmilk

    Milena - Sacramento/CA /

    you know, i'm getting more and more messages from people saying that they find the BGB comments more addictive than the buttons themselves! what have i done?! what hellishness have i contributed to this already confused world of ours?! will i ever find redemption? i don't know about that but i do know that i also will have a load of strong coffee when i get home! ah ... the bittersweet nectar of the gods! - david

  73. At first I thought it was a joke from my father-in law! I tried The Big Green Button 2 first and had no luck ...so I went back and saw that there was a first one and completed it..now I feel bad for sending my father-in law a prank inheritance letter to get even :) Thanks for the fun!

    Perfect Breakfast: The Works! Bacon, eggs, home-fries, pancakes...etc

    Bev - Fawn Grove, PA /

    you sent your father-in-law a prank inheritence letter? you should feel guilty! just imagine the heartache he'll feel! mind you, i did unleash the unforgiving BGB on the world ... and do i feel guilty?! - david

  74. POST BGB: wow. with nothing better to do on a day when me and my friends skipped school we went to the button and pushed it. it fullfilled all our rebellious teenage urges. now on to the BGB 2. we will conquer all green buttons!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    POST BGB2: Tired we're all so tired. after finishing the BGB we wanted to conquer all green buttons, now they make us curl up in the fetal position. maybe it would have been better if we had gone to school after all?......na. time for a nap. the buttons rule. can't wait for BGB3.

    Perfect Breakfast: Pancakes shaped like feet covered in whipped cream and syrup

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: sweet pickles with whipped cream and a big glass of Dr.Pepper

    Meagan - New Jersey /

    hey there meagan & your fellow school-skipping chums. first of all i feel obligated to chastise you for your school, um, unattendence (but at least you did take a nap after your exertions). i simply cannot condone such scandalous behaviour and would never sponsor any of my younger, school aged BGB-pushers to immitate this behaviour ... :)
    however, if you out there are determined to bunk off school (as we used to say here in england ... not that i ever did, of course) then please don't say that the Big Green Buttons made you do it! what kind of reputation would i get?! as for your perfect breakfast, does that have anything to do with your teenage urges?! - david

  75. click click click click click click click click wait the screen's all black.. DOH! I admit it! I cheated!. I saved the page to my drive, then watched as all the "missing graphics" popped up, then cross-refd it with the real page. My humblest apologies. How can I ever make up for this? ::sob:: just don't hurt me!!!

    Chris Nelson - Troy NY / The Icebox - Cyman Ice's homepage

    how can you make it up to me? oh, i don't know, hmmmm, let me see. you could send me lots of $$$; you could beg; you could do lots of things really. or you could just smile slightly, safe in the knowledge that it really doesn't bother me and that you beat the BGB in a most ingenious way. or, alternatively, you could feel miserably despondant (and maybe even despondantly miserable) for cheating on such a simple and pure webpage! either way, thanks for pushing my buttons anyway! - david

  76. hey! this is such a cool page! i loved it and my friends and i laughed our heads off!!! its really funny, but we didnt seem to find the last button?? oh well well find it some day ) keep up the GREAt and HILARIOUS green buttons ) luv always, shaden.

    Perfect Breakfast: great ol'mighty cereal

    shaden fawaz - Cairo, Egypt /

    you know, i don't recall having a BGB reply from egypt before. it's nice to know that my buttons really have gone all around the world. however i have one question for you shaden ... what type of cereal floats your boat? or is it cereal in general? - david

  77. AAAAaaaah!!! At least! It tooked the all day, but ut was worth it, becouse that longer u try, that moore u want to make it!!! Try, and get grey hair!!!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: My secret!

    Sisan - Sweden/Dalarna /

    huh?! - david

  78. oh dear.. to add my lowly comment on this page... among so many others? i feel like a little worm on a big friggin hook.. heehee.. how to live up to all the witty responces?!?! it just cant be done.. so i must humble myself... and say... AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!! that bgb just drove me batty! oh my.. i just dont know what to do.. >laugh< i've shared it with most of my friends online now.. (and now they wont talk to me?!?! is it because they are clicking away madly, or because they are so ticked at me for getting them addicted?!?) =) thaaaanks.. heehee.. anyhow.. i love it, its great.. and i cant wait for the third! good job! >clap< its really neato! =)

    Perfect Breakfast: a bowlful of lucky charms green clover marshmallows.. and a coke! yippie!

    ~niiiikkiiiiii~ - oceanside, ca / Nikki's lousy excuse for a webpage

    i have just a few things to say to you nikki ...
    1) how come you have so many "i"s in your name? is it because your self obsessed? or did you hold down the "i" key just a little too long?
    2) your breakfast has way too much sugar in it. no wonder you have so many "i"s in your name
    3) is that >clap< a single clap or a whole bunch of claps? i just want to make sure
    4) do you need to have an excuse to have a webpage? - david

  79. How can anyone be so sadistic as to make a page as this. More to the point, how can anyone be so pathetic as to follow it all the way to the end. Now what does that say about me?

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: porterhouse medium rare

    John "Wonko" Watson - Sandy, UT / Wonko's Web Pages

    what does it say about you? i don't know but your "middle" name kind of says it all! :) - david

  80. well, i don't want to be mean and all, but at points (in fact most of the time) your page was the devils page of absolute EVIL!! though u did have funny comments.... i actually was in a white house national security meeting..... how u knew? i just don't know. i'll have to call to figure what happened. but, i mean how big of a deal is it? so someone want to kill the president, good for them, at least someone has some sense nowadays. well, i'll come back for BGB 3 until then, keep being the devils right hand in web page designing!

    Confidential - Washington, D.C. /

    there it goes again! someone i've never met alikening me to various dark forces of evil! this is really starting to upset me ... before long i'll start believing it and then you'll all be in real trouble! - david

  81. Okay, you did it to me too! I've just spend well over an hour or maybe it was two clicking and clicking and clicking and clicking etc. I thought to myself, "I should stop"; "I DO have better things to do"; "I do need to get the laundry put up"; "I do need to go chat for a while"; "I do need to really, really, really, really go pee!" But I finally made it thru, and now that I am yellow from clicking on all your green buttons, I want to commend you on a job well done... you done a GRAND job in wasting my night... but hey, it was fun too... I think. Man do I have to go pee! (That big black hole from BGB was a heck of a battle too btw) Thanks Oh, and one more thing... I would like to put a link to this on my web page... I don't believe you would mind, but if you do, please leave me a message in my email box!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Fried biscuit donuts with vanilla glaze!

    PS Kropke aka Sabin - The West Texas Wastelands of the USA / MoonLite Cafe

    well, i hope your trip to the bathroom was worth the wait and the build up! oh, and of course you can link to me! the more the merrier! - david

  82. BGB Best Comment Award Once upon a thyme...in the wonderful land where the money debt is in balance and milk and honey taste like kitties... everyone was happy. The people there watched reruns of South Park and ate pie and spent countless hours mesmerized by the computer screen.
    And, in the midst of this divine, glorious paradise, there was a little girl, and her name was S'vair Ottowango Chatoko. She wanted to know about all of the websites that authority would never let her see, she decided to do it, because she was bored and had nothing better to do.
    Amendament #10, 987 said that doing so was forbidden. (this takes place in the future y'know) She read that in her social studies book a week ago. Such things like this stir a young child's mind, and thus S'vair was inquisitive to know about what was beyond the sheltered part of the internet.
    S'vair ran away to a house where a wizarding hacker resided. The hacker took her holy pipecleaners and magicaly produced a list of all of the forbidden websites that invaded S'vair's thoughts and dreams. And the first one she tried out was... The Infamous Big Green Button! AAAaaaahhhhh-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAA!!! oh...sorry. (ahem) anyways...
    The audacious hue of the Big Green Button took over her mind... S'vair was powerless...
    Suddenly, the door was kicked down, setting affly dust and pipecleaners everywhere. Two FBI employees stepped into the house, with loaded guns and a quick eye.
    "You are under arrest for violating constitutional law #10, 987 and hating green beans" said the first one, monotoniously. The second one pinned S'vair to the wall and bound her hands together with twist-ties.
    "You have the right to remain silent- unless, of course, if it's about pie! I love pie don't you?"
    The first FBI worker slapped his forehead and rolled his eyes. Then he resumed to his work. "Now, let's see what you have been up to" and approached the computer monitor. The words on the monitor aforementioned:
    "Whatever you do, DON'T press this button" and that aparatus known as the Big Green Button loomed in the midst of the white backround.
    The FBI worker raised his eyebrow with... curiousity...
    Helplessly he grabbed the mouse and clicked it!
    Once he did that, he just couldn't stop. The other FBI worker tried to stop him, but soon he got hooked too. Little by little, more and more back-up arrived to try and stop the button pressing, but they fell in that chasm of peril also. All of the FBI was there, gripped by the green-ness of the Big Green Button. Normal citizens had a go at releasing them from the Big Green Button's hold, but they ended up like all who had tried before...
    So the Infamous Big Green Button corrupted this once perfect world, never to be the same again.
    THE END!!!

    Perfect Breakfast: Popsicles dipped in mashed potatoes

    S'vair Ottowango Chatoko

    wow! so my buttons are the trigger that brings about the end of society?! talk about responsibility on my shoulders! it's a bit like that dude in "terminator 2" who has to destroy his computer because it initiates WW3. so are you saying that i have to destroy the BGBs for the good of mankind? say it's not so! (oh, and please don't go sending some crazed assassin back through time to make your point!) - david

  83. Button Heiku
    Why, Green Button...Why?
    Fate, Why do you Mock me?
    Life, Death, Green Button

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: No-Bake Cookies

    Kevin Funderburk - Amarillo/Texas/USA /

    hmmm, that's a nice lighthearted little ditty! - david

  84. I found it, I found it!! (insert happy little dance here) HEY DAVID I just want you to know that because of you I'm going to fail my English 30 "Hamlet" unit AND I DON'T CARE!!!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Chocolate devils food cake.

    Shruger - Highriver AB Canada / Blue Cow Eye (don't ask)

    Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
    Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.
    Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar:
    Those [buttons] thou hast, and their [addiction] tried,
    Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of [green];
    But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
    Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg'd [button].
    (Hamlet, Act I, Scene iii) - david

  85. I AM THE GREATEST BUTTON PUSHER ALIVE !!! I FOUND THE BUTTON IN THE BLACK SPACE ALL BY MYSELF; NO CHEATING IN ANY WAY EXCEPT THAT I FOUND IT ON ACCIDENT........ I am nothing without the button, but the button does not control me ... WAIT! did you hear that ... the button, i mean my mom, yeah my mom, is calling me!

    Perfect Breakfast: burnt toast

    Jim Joe Willy Bob - if i only knew /

    and what was she calling you? the greatest button pusher alive, i bet - david

  86. Unfortunately, I didn't have anything better to do. I stayed home from school... Luckily, I had trusty friends online (Bayard) to offer helpful advice such as "Alright, this sounds like a crisis. What you have to do is cover the big green button in big green bill's big green hot sauce. Then you have to start licking the button". Thanks for the fun, it saved me from, not drove me to, suicide by boredom. I'm making a link on my page. Just so you know. (Hee hee hee, now that kid Bayard is addicted too!) Hey I live in Orlando, and believe me I would know, BGB is WAY better than Disney!!!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: midnight, that'd be breakfast, so toast and marmalade

    Sonya Carr - Orlando (mickeyville) Florida / Sonya's Lair of... Stuff

    licking the button, instead of clicking it ... i thought i'd heard it all before! how wrong could i be?! sounds like your friends have a few problems of their own, not to mention unhygienic and kinky habits! at least they have good taste in hot sauces - david

  87. well me and leo the lizard was just sitting here having a few beers (leo's dead so he don't drink much) and looking through our favorite news groups, well i don't know how i got here now, leo makes me drink to much these days (i have to drink his share too) oh yeah how do i feel? well i feel ok, but leo feels kind of stiff, but he made me go through both of the green dot thingy's, he didn't mind the black box place, but when we got to the page with all the BIG GREEN DOT'S well he just ran off and left me to fend for myself, tell me... he's not much of a friend huh? and he's starting to stink too. oh yeah i just looked down on what else i need to write in here... well you computer users will view my web page diferent then i built it... but you can see me and leo there, but watch out cuz he's funny looking when he gets to dinking... i think i'll paint him green now. oh never mind, he is green

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: umm beer and bologna and fritos and doritos and well the girl next door would be nice :-)

    UNFORGIVEN 2 - everett (sucky) washington usa ect / UNFORGIVEN_2

    i get the distinct impression that there's something amiss here. a dead lizard that doesn't drink? what kind of crazy world do we live in?! - david

  88. the button is better than the tapioca pudding with those little balls in it that when you swallow it makes your throat feel cool. And it's better than those boxes that have 12 pices of chalk in them and it is better than chewing aluminum foil! but it is worse than that pile of bannana pudding i have in my backyard which is worth $290.53 !!

    Perfect Breakfast: that stuff, you know, with that other... stuff

    Toejam - Springfield/Virginia

    that sure is a lot of banana pudding! but why is it in your backyard? do you have wild banana pudding parties or something? (sounds kinda fun actually!) - david

  89. Thanks to you, I've lost my job, my girlfriend, my financial security, my sanity, my religion, and my computer. I can't even use my real name now for fear of being mocked. Thanks for nothing. Oh, and... "Gottfluch, den ich shaoue gut!"

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Ich bin Teufel

    Philip Screwdriver - Mildor, NH / The Nothing Webpage

    hey, don't say i didn't warn you! and you should know better too ... for someone who strings along visitors to your site only to send them to hanson's website! - david

  90. I think that this web site is the coolest thing on the web!!!! I mean it gives the people that have nothing else better to do all day, something! I am only fourteen and i figured it out in two days! My father liked it so much that he but it on his website!!! AND ALL THOSE PEOPLE THAT SAY THAT THEY LOST THERE JOB AND EVERYTHING THAT THEY OWN! IT ISN'T DAVID'S FAULT YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER TO STOP BEFORE THINGS GOT THAT BAD!! GEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ SOME PEOPLE! SO YOU HAVE NOONE TO BLAME BUT YOUR SELVES!! David i think this button thing is REALLY cool!!! I will be looking forward to further BGB's, and so will my father! i have conquered 1 + 2 and i am looking forward to 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 , 11, 12, etc.

    Perfect Breakfast: scrambled eggs,bacon,sausage,and biscuits and gravy

    Jennifer /

    jennifer, thanks for your kind words, absolving me from blame! i appreciate it and i will sleep better at night now. as for BGBs 4 thru 12, etc .... i really don't think that's going to happen. i'm sorry to disapoint you! - david

  91. You're sick man... I mean, really, really sick. What in the world possessed you to make a green button page? I mean, yeah, it's cool... but it's so damn sadistic! BGB2 was by far eviler than the first one... but I succesfully completed both of them without cheating I am proud to say! It's sick but I'm looking forward to BGB3!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Pizza

    Jason - New York /

    you're right jason, i am a really sick man! but i'm taking the tablets, as per my doctors orders, and hopefully this nasty rash will pass soon. but thanks for your sympathy. it's nice to know that people out there care! - david

  92. ah- this is the true key to the universe, the war of the mind, & the secret of everything all bound up into one little button! I think this is it, the final & all encompassing true test of mankind.... the button! Long before the spoon, before fire, there existed within the mind of a neanderthal the concept of the button... but this is far beyond what that simple ancestor of ours ever dreamed.... this is the Meta-Button, the Grand Illuminated Button, The True Source of Button-ness for all of the Universe! Aliens from Sirius & the Horsehead Nebula travel from Billions & Billions of miles away just simply to gaze upon this illustrious button! All Hail the BGB!!!!!! Praise the Button!!!!!!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: a blood sausage

    zenwerewolf - elsewhere, suburbia /

    neanderthals pressing buttons? yes, i can see it now ... "UG! UG! OOONGA SCHMOOONGA! UG! BUGRUM BUGRUM! UGUM! UG! OOOGA! UG!" (loosely translated as "this big green button lark certainly is a cracking way to spend a lazy afternoon in this cave. it's as dark and clammy as a walrus' larynx in here but it's home. but anyway, as i was saying, these buttons will no doubt one day be recognised as the true key to the universe!") - david

  93. OH NO!!! AIIIEEEE!!!! First I was hooked to the BGB page, and now I'm hooked to the comments... I'm seeing green... I can't... go on... stupid comments.... more green buttons... want to click.... help.... I find myself clicking the "BGB best comment" button and sitting for up to 4 hours and 26 minutes expecting something to happen... now I'm going to flunk out of school.... I stay up all night reading the comments... I dream in green... I hear killer monkeys talking to me in my sleep.... someone give me some help... I heard something about a BGB help page... could someone help me PLEASSSEEEEEEE!

    Perfect Breakfast: Anything that's green....

    I've forgotten my name thanks to BGB

    killer monkeys huh? i hate to be the one to tell you but you weren't dreaming that ... it was for real! it's just one of the nasty side-effects of BGB-pushing ... did i not mention that before? ooops! - david

  94. *click* Must *click* press *click* buttons *click* I found the *click* button on the *click* big black screen *click* with out looking *click* at the coding *click*.... and the green *click* path on the *click second one *click* :) Thanks!! *click* I'm now *click* addicted *click* and that's okay *click* *wanders of humming 'I'm lumber Jack and that's okay!'* *Click*

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Reese's Penut butter cups

    Jenny C. - Kailua, HI, USA

    jenny, there's nothing wrong with you being lumber, but just don't call me jack, okay? - david

  95. BGB Best Comment Award david a hyland, you unbelievable bastard. hell is filled with people like you, i'm sure of it. it starts out as a sort of mindless, mildly interesting diversion, practicing good personal hygiene. then you continue clicking, wondering if people at work are looking over your shoulder, until you get to the big black void with an invisible green button and you run your mouse up and down the page, growing slowly more obsessive, quintessentially scrubbing your hands until your knuckles are raw and the blood flows red beneath your fingernails, and you click the big black page with exactly no effect trying not to look at the source code, because you WILL BEAT THE BIG GREEN BUTTON fair and square, but the sweat is beading on your forehead and your eyes grow bloodshot and dry from not blinking because if you stare hard enough you just might see that BIG GREEN BUTTON HIDING SOMEWHERE IN THE CRUEL AND PITILESS VOID, but you don't and as you grow more and more weary from weeks of not sleeping and only eating food and coffee from vending machines you find yourself finally unanble to stop your dry, raw hands, off of which you have by NOW SCOURED SEVERAL MORE LAYERS OF SKIN THAN IS RECOMMENDED BY THE SURGEON GENERAL, from moving the mouse to the view menu to see the secret of the BIG BLACK VOID WHICH HAS DEVOURED THE BIG GREEN BUTTON and you whimper quietly to no one in particular, "PLEASE BRING BACK THE BIG GREEN BUTTON, I'M SORRY I DIDN'T QUIT WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE, I KNOW I'M WEAK, JUST PLEASE BRING IT BACK, I JUST NEED ONE MORE HIT, MAN!" and suddenly there before you is the source code and finally you are free of THE CURSE OF THE BIG GREEN BUTTON... well, on to THE BIG GREEN BUTTON 2. i'll see you in hell, david a hyland.

    Perfect Breakfast: fried spam and a nice pale ale

    Robosquirrel - Minneapolis/MN / Robosquirrel's Own Little World

    hell is filled with people like me? when i started this BGB lark i had no intention of being a demonic force, acting for evil ... it's all you lot out there, the ones who push my buttons, who have made me out to be this dark being, beelzebub himself. i suppose i could take the BGB off the internet and save myself from eternal damnation but why stop something that's popular? it's not my fault that the rest of the world is too weak to resist! i'm really a nice guy without a mean bone in my body! - david

  96. God damn that was addicting. I spent 30 minutes trying to find the right button. Keep them coming though, I have no life.

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: turkey sandwich, mustard and cheese

    chris - sacramento, california /

  97. I HAVE COMPLETED THE HARDEST TASK IN THE WORLD! I FEEL GREAT!! I dedicate this one to a person back home that I like to call Mom.

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Pizza

    Mooch - New York, US of A /

    the hardest task in the world? have you ever tried climbing the north face of the eiger?! (okay, neither have i but i've been there and it looks terribly steep and icy!) - david

  98. I'm glad it's over!!! I couldn't get the first BGB, but I completed this one!!! After about I think all of the buttons except like 3 or 4...geez, that was a good amount of time wasted! Oh well, it was fun... you actually have to take a long time on this, it's not like those how to keep an idiot busy ones, where you like win in two secs... I like this. Very creative... can't wait for the third one!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: Some Chex Mix

    Jenny - Detroit/ Michigan/ USA / Jenny's Website

  99. Continue like this and the BGB3 will be a BEST SELLER

    Daniel - Québec /

    hopefully with the royalties to match! - david

  100. I really liked it. What a way to spend the time that you reserved for skipping class. The perfect excuse for not going! The big green button!

    Perfect Midnight Munchie: a big juicy steak

    Rachel Cace - San Antonio Texas /

    this class skipping to press BGBs thing is becoming dangerously common! i really don't want my buttons to be the cause of the downfall of society! - david