"How do you feel?" ...
Did I find the Green Button? Was that it?
There you go: now I'm inconsolably melancholic. The inescapable fact is
that I have fallen hopelessly, miserably in love with the Green Button.
The Green Button has not only changed my life, it IS my life. It is a
metaphor for that relentless impulse that drives us forever to search
for we know not what, just to see if there's another Green Button for us
around the corner. To seek in the dark, alone and cold, for whatever
Green Button may or may not be out there. And now the Green Button has
left me, and I am left to myself in the quiet dark, wondering, is there
not another Green Button somewhere for me?
There's always another Green Button if you want it badly enough and are willing to look for it! - David
Hello Guru of the nutoids!
Enjoyed the buttons but had to get my kid... er chicken out of the oven.
My husband and I have now enjoyed a lovely funfilled Saturday evening
with your green buttons all in the privacy of our own home and for free.
What an evening. We hate you of course but don't take it personally only
creatively. We'll see you again next Saturday night for our time
together as a poor college married couple.
me and him /
See you next Saturday then! - David
This is the most totally weird thing I have ever touched! I prefer wet
paint signs myself, at least there I have something to show for my
touching......Thank you and I will be back again...
Pete Kretschmar /
Well, you've left your mark on the BGB2 Comments Page now! - David
Well, forgive the intrusion, but I just thought I'd share my relatively itchy thoughts about the button. As many people have probably already said, its extremly annoying. I made it up to the black page, which was near to genius, on your part. :) About how long did it take you to make the whole thing? And why? All I could think about while trying to get to the end, was the Grover ( Sesame St.) book: "There's A Monster At The End Of This Book". Also, compliments on your very nice homepage. Thanks!
Laura, the first BGB took me just a few hours but BGB2 took a couple of days as it's much bigger. As for the Grover book, someone else once said the same thing, but I've never seen the book myself! - David
HI. This is the third or forth time I have played this game. You are right. I
am insane. but I already knew that before I started. There is a certain power
that controls me to do stuff, bad stuff. Like........ PRESSING BIG OL' GREEN
BUTTONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so insane that I made two of my friends go
through this whole ordeal. Right now they are running around my house butt
naked.... They are screaming really loud about seeing only buttons... You see
what you have done? Its crazy here.... Wait ..... ouch.... no.... one is
taking over ..... the .... keyboard.... God save us all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Allison - CT
Allison, tell your friend Kate to calm down and Maggie to stop dribbling! - David
David i love your web pages and you are a very nice looking lad, too bad i am
an old grandma. ha'ha' Hi my name is Mary and made a visit to your page and
thought i would let you know, would love some help in setting up my web page,
it needs work please feel free to visit and email me with suggestions
Mary / Mary's Place
Mary, you are the funkiest Grandma in the world! I don't think you need suggestions, as you seem to know what you're doing with your website as it is. I just hope that I'm as funky as you when I'm a Grandma!! - David
those green button things are addictive i must of spent an hour on both of
them. i hope your working on a third one right now and if your not u should
start cause those were great
Wow, what a rush, man! The BGB is soo far out! How about some Panama Red
Button or Columbian Gold Button for the next sequel? Loved the page so much I'm addicted - I'll be back to score again. Gotta go, think I'll raid the fridge, I'm feeling incredibly hungry!
Jurzee Gurl - Medford, NJ /
Have a munchie for me! - David
geez........tell the tryers it ends like this. u know, I thought with the creativity that went into designing this, there might be some creative ending. how incredibly sad that this is all u could come up with. what a great idea. and what a totally lousy way to end it. too bad...... just more computer nerds with no true creativity.........
I'm truly sorry you feel that way, but it seems that you entirely missed the plot! If you still can't figure out what it's about then read more of the comments for enlightenment - David
Excuse me David sweety but were the hell is the button on the black page? I
will be the first to admit that I am obsessed. It is driving me crazy. I
won't tell you how many times I have been through the page (cuz then you'll
think I'm really crazy). It is a vicious circle! I love to press buttons
honey, but I can't find yours! Help! Please?
Can the crazy and the obsessed actually be helped? Are you sure you're not beyond help?! - David
My life had no meaning until I saw the BGB. Then, after staring at the
BGB for numerous sleepless days in religious rapture, it spoke to me.
It said I must surrender all my worldly possessions and travel the
Earth spreading the gospel of the BGB. A small sacrifice, indeed, for
Rick A. Swanson /
Rick, I applaud your dedication and commitment to the Cause! When you've sold your possessions, just make the check payable to David A Hyland ......! - David
Okay...if anyone is insane here... I mean why go to the trouble if not
slightly disturbed yourself?!?!?! :) Thank you for a few moments of entertainment!!!!
Have a wonderful day!
Jennifer Nuzum /
Disturbed? Me?! Wibble wibble biscuit barrel caramel coated toenails .... - David
... oof again... It began with my unassuming mailcheck... a little
hyperlink (I'm a sucker for hyperlinks)... and I thought this would be as
*quaint* as that armadillo worshipping page... "a little green button," I
said... "how endearing," I said... and I was sad when it ended... almost
pannicky... at any rate, you helped me avoid the material I had to cover for
thermodynamics... (yes, I had more productive things to do, but that's why I
chose this instead)... thank you, you wonderful sweet thing, for making that
big green button ...
sorry to have mailed you directly but microsoft's beautiful creation
of an internet explorer wouldn't let me submit my comment... hey, are you
married?... I could use someone like you around here!... hee hee... always in
need of a green button wench/stalwart...
You are but too kind, even if you didn't leave your name! Am I married? Hmmmm, not the last time I looked. And just one question, what would you do with a green button wench/stalwart?! - David
I was so moved by your button that I felt compelled to see the rest of
your page. I love your humorous style, and especially The Great Sacred
Almighty Button. Cool page!
Lorraine Peters /
the Great Sacred Almighty Button? You'll swell the poor thing's already over inflated ego! But thanks! - David
I was at a page that had the site "Big Green Button", and my curiosity got
me. When I got there, I had to follow it though. I spent about 5 minutes
looking on the black page for the button. I finally laughed at myself. It
was fun trying to guess your middle name, and if it isn't Adrian, it should
be. I like that name, and if I have another son, in my next life, I will
name him Adrian. I was on my morning romp for source html docs, and I ran into your page and
spent 1 1/2 hours there. Thanks! I enjoyed every minute.
I've signed your guestbook, submitted my URL to your URL submissions page,
gone through the damnable green dots, felt lucky to have spotted the koala on
the first pass, and although I said it in the guestbook, I must iterate -
YikEs, this is a great site.....my efforts pale like ale comparatively
speaking... Thanks for the laughs, and I hope that your studies will allow us to see more
of you... next visit to US, come to TN.....we are getting a football team that
will demolish your Steelers!
John Hutcheson - Tennessee /
Are you talking about the expanded Oilers? If so then you really think you're gonna stomp all over Pittsburgh? Dream on John! :) - David
That sucked........I found every button and i ended up having to quit anyway.
there really should be an award to smart people who can find the right button
You're right, there probably should be, but life's like that! - David
i just had to say your a genious for coming up with the big green
button.......and annoying the hell out of all my friends......i was the only
person who finished......now i feel superior......oh and my best friend
thinks your weird but i think she e-mailed you already just to say that.....
I'm glad that you feel superior to your friends! And as for your friend telling me I'm weird, I don't remember .... I get so many people saying that I lose count! - David
Hi, Thanks for giving me a much needed smile and chuckle, I really needed it. I
even clicked all over the black page hoping to find another button :-D What
fun!!! I really needed a laugh today, and I'm sure many others laughed with
That is my mission in life ... to make people smile when they're down! - David
Hello, I like The Big Green Button! It's fun and funny, it's very, very cute,
I just gotta, I just gotta send this to my friend, Thanks! Bye!
Katie, you are most welcome! - David
you're f*****g insane!! I was just a normal girl with some normal and socially
acceptable addictions, but now there's no cure for me. I close my eyes and
I see that BGB laughing at me. Anyway, I found TWO hidden pseudo-BGB (so
hard, such darkness), and I love you after all.
PS. forgive me if I made any mistake, but my English is not very good.
PSS. I'm afraid of going to sleep. I'm sure I'll have a BGB nightmare. I'll
keep my lights on!!
Laura - Spain /
1) Your English is excellent! Better than my spanish! 2) I hope you get back to sleep soon! - David
I found the button late on night, and I felt an urge well up from
deep within my soul, an urging like none other I've ever experienced. I've
never really NEEDED to do anything before, not like the NEEDED to push
that button. I worried it was too good to be true, so good there must be
a catch. Worries alone couldn't stop me for more than a brief moment,
after that ever-so-brief moment I took a deep breath in, exhaled, and then
... well I guess I just pushed. Then I pushed again and again, not
stopping for food, drink, or knocks at my door. After a time, worries again
reared their ugly head. Was this some kind of new drug? What might be
the side effects of button-pushing? Was I addicted? I tried to stop, but
couldn't bring myself to. I then know what addiction meant. While this
thought was starting to soak in, I suddenly came across the dreaded black
page. After 20 minutes of searching I find a link and push it and...
sorry, what the hell do you mean it's not the right button?!?! 10 more
minutes another link, and... another false trail. Finally what must have been
the 6th or 7th link I pursed, I found nirvana. Perfection. By daring us
to push that button, and to find the hidden button, you dare us to find
ourselves to discover our own "button" and to push it, and by pushing it
to discover new realms within ourselves. Thank you. You have given me
what no psychiatrist can, what no religion can, what no lover can. You
have given me an answer to a supposedly unanswerable question. You have
given me the power to push.
Bryan "The Mad Hatter" Cox - Melbourne, Florida / Hatter's House
Have you ever considered pyschology as a career? Either that or politics?! Just one question, what was the ananswerable question?! - David
I found pressing that button relived me of something. I dont know what
something, but I felt different afterward. I felt better. I felt relived. I
felt that there was no problem I could not cope with. I felt alive for the
first time in years. I covered myself in peanut butter and ran around the
streets of DC singing Ava Maria. I would like to thank you for changing my
life. Now I am fed, clothed and have a nice room that has soft walls.
Gary A. S.
Gary, would that have been Smooth or Crunchy? - David
i know there is a button here. i just have to find it...... where is it?
WHERE IS IT ?!?!?!? you can't hide it forever. please, tell me where it
is.... just a little hint? aw, come on. i won't tell. i promise i won't.
there is one, right? i can't live without another one. WHERE IS THE DARNED BUTTON???? IF I ASK POLITELY, WILL YOU TELL ME? I KNOW I'M WEARING YOU DOWN. YOU'LL
TELL ME. YOU HAVE TO. I WILL JUST SIT HERE AND WAIT UNTIL YOU DO. PLEASE
MAKE IT SOON. I HAVE A BIG BLUE BUTTON WAITING FOR MY ATTENTION.
THE ADDICTED /
Sorry, it takes a lot to wear me down. You see, I'm covered in lithium grease which protects me from wear (and makes me water repellant too!) - David
Okay, so you broke my addiction to pressing the button, but now what are you
going to do about this grin permanently affixed to my face? Huh? Did you
think about that before making your little game? Do you know what it's like
to sit here with a silly grin stuck to your face? I certainly hope you'll
think about the consequences next time you think about leaving big green
buttons sitting around for people to press!
Sorry Michael .... I guess I just didn't think. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me?! - David
Oh my god I just cant stop, I need to push more and more buttons!! Help me
I'm insane. Thanks for stopping the buttons,..but now, how will i get my button
fix? Maybe I'll start wandering around town pushing buttons randomly, at
stores, on street corners, at friends homes,...... at home in a dark locked
You need help my friend! - David
No need to push, no need to shove. The BGB brought me money and love. Yes,
I was alone, no love in sight, nothin to get me through a long and empty
night. And then I saw it- the BGB- it was right for me- and I said
whoo-ee.... Now I an rich, famous, and beautiful, and I owe it all to you.
Julz / Gracie's Place
Are you after commission or something?! - David
My life had no meaning until I saw the BGB. Then, after staring at the
BGB for numerous sleepless days in religious rapture, it spoke to me.
It said I must surrender all my worldly possessions and travel the
Earth spreading the gospel of the BGB. A small sacrifice, indeed, for
Rick A. Swanson /
Small sacrifice indeed! Send all proceeds of your sales to me, okay? I'll deal with it and distribute it all fairly! - David
That was the stupidest f*****g thing I've ever seen. Where is the
point? How about the humor? I can handle stupidity, but usually
because it's funny. This green button is just plain useless. I'm sure
if you tried harder, you could come up with something at least
entertaining. I don't think you're a moron, you just didn't try very
hard with this, obviously.
Doug Thompson /
Doug, maybe you should try opening your mind a wee bit more my friend. The hundreds of other people on my comments pages surely can't all be wrong? Can they? But thanks for stopping by anyway! - David
Just thought I would drop you a line and let you know that I loved the Big
Green Button.....both one and two! I guess this means I am truely addicted
to something other than AOL. =) I laughed more tonight than I have in a
long time, thank you! Enjoyed your personal web page also, I think I've become a fan of yours
hehehehe. Thanks again!
Something other than AOL? Wow! An honour beyond all honours! - David
Thank you for puting this on the web! my mom said try this so i did and
im hooked! Please put MORE on. Its so cool! Nice dancing baby and nice
green button! My favorite time was when it said ok theres no Green
Button that you can see - But there is one on this page. it took me about
15 minutes to find the thing.
Samantha (11½ years old)
It's good to know that the BGB is appealing to the younger audience out there too, not just mentally unstable adults! Samantha, you're very lucky having email and computers and Big Green Buttons at your age. When I was 11½ the wheel hadn't been invented and we
didn't even have Mountain Dew or OREOs! - David
Hey, just cruised your web site and wore my finger out on the
button..... I'm not fond of green.. I guess that is why I pounded it so many
times, anyways, you are a cutie pie and very good at web pages for fun and
games for Empress!!
Well, I always like to please my Empress! - David
I always thought that my life was somehow turning dull. After raising three
children, divorcing my husband over eight years ago, and returning to college
at the age of 36, and trying to date men when I had time. But now I am still
single and dating very little and studying very hard. Not much of a life,
huh? But you have now fulfilled my life by introducing me to the "Big Green
Button" and now my life is no longer boring. I am now getting ready to enter the sequel and looking forward to the excitement that, yet again, awaits me. Thank you very much for the will to pursue happiness.
hi there i recently visited "The Big Green Button" and sadly i became
addicted. but thanks to you i was able to quit. my name is cat (short for cathryn) i am a senior in high school in michigan. i was forwarded your bgb page and enjoyed it. i dont usualy use the internet for any thing but e-mail, so maybe you can understand my excitement.
unfortunately i dont have time now to look at all of your home page, but i will.
cat - michigan /
Cat, I humbly thank you for straying from your internet aversion just long enough to experience the awe of the BGBs. If this is the only web site you ever look at then you have fulfilled your destiny regardless ..... or something like that anyway - David
i just loved the big green button!!!!!!but where is the button on the black
page !!!! are you trying to drive me nuts or something??????!!!!!! cuz if you
are it is working....i just have to know where that button is!!!!!i woun't be
able to sleep or eat until i knowWHERE IS IT PLEASE TELL ME.....PLEASE!!!!!!!
Nope - David
Dear David, I love your Web Page, and both of the Big Green Buttons. I had a ball....and
wasted a lot of time!!!! Now..don't be hurt..."wasted" wasn't the right adjective!!!! Relaxed? Played? Enjoyed?....pick a winner!!! See ya on the Web!!!
Pat Snyder - Hamilton Square, NJ USA
I just loved you Big Green Button and I am going to send it to all of my
friends. I still have tears in my eyes from laughing so much. I didn't go to
sequel yet but that comes next. That was really great. I don't know what made
you think it up, but it was well worth it. Thanks..........
Don't worry Enid (great name btw) I have no idea what made me think it up either - David
This site was SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!! I thought that I would die laughing!!!! I
ALMOST wet my pants from laughing soooooooooo much..
Well, it's a good job that you didn't ... could have been embarrassing, huh? - David
Hi David. I received your cute green button game from a friend over email. I decided to check out your homepage. I must say, it's very detailed and very impressive!
It's a lot better than some of the lame homepages I've seen in the past.
I just wanted to tell about the good job you did with it.
I found it very entertaining. :)
Thanks! - David
Somebody mailed me to say try your page. They said you were a
genius......I think you probably just had too much coffee and read Zen
and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance one too many times. By providing
content rich pages like the green button who knows just how far the
internet is capable of going. Perhaps somebody someday will provide us
with a endless maze we could watch forever on our screens (oops! its
Dwight Mac Neil /
Dwight, it wasn't the coffee, it was too much Mountain Dew and the piece of mouldy cheese I found behind the fridge - David
This is truly one of the most original and simplistic sites I have ever
seen. It is truly hilarious, and shows that you don't need a lot of fancy
graphics to have a great web site, just a little green button
Jeremy Daniels /
My thoughts exactly Jeremy! - David
David, I just wanted to take a quick moment to let you know that because of the
Green Button, my life has changed..........I now have the determination,
gusto, dedication, motivation and true grit to live the rest of my life!!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart....
You're welcome, from the heart of my bottom .... :) - David
Hi! I'm a renowned Hollywood producer and I was wondering if you'd be
interested in turning your concept into a major motion picture. I'm
thinking we could cast Keanu Reeves in the role of the ButtonMaster,
with a special walk on by Sean Penn as the Quit Button ("I said QUIT,
you spineless f**k!"). Any ideas? Have your fax machine contact my
secretary through my modem and let's do lunch at Spago's.
With insincerity, A Big Producer Type
Rob Simmons /
Sounds like a plan Rob. Let's talk money though. And what about the concession rights to the toys and T-shirts? - David
OK OK...I'm confessing to my sins...after 3 tries I still haven't found the
BGB....where oh where can it be......I NEED A HINT!!!!!....I CAN'T
SLEEP!!!!!...GOTTA FIND THAT BUTTON!!!!!!.....PLEASE SOMEONE
HELPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!....OH PLEASE MR BGB MAKER PUT MR OUT OF MY
MISERY!!!!!......OK IM GOING TO SEE MY DOC TOMORROW AND GET A BGB
PILL...THINK IT WILL HELP????? NOTTTTT...... UNTIL I FIND THAT BUTTON.....
NANCY LEITELL - LAWTON, OKLAHOMA /
I'm sorry Nancy, but I cannot divulge the location of the hidden button. That would be a violation of my Creator/Button confidentiality! I hope you can understand? - David
I am fairly new to the world of the Internet and usually just use it to
help my kids with their homework or look up things related to my job. But
I must say that your web site is amazing!! I received it after my aunt in
Providence, RI forwarded it to my mother in Vernon, CT. I am in Glen, NH.
I then forwarded the BGB to my son who is away at school in Bethlehem, NH.
He is at boarding school and is 14 years old. He said your web site
rocks!! So I guess that is pretty good. When I get more time, I will
puruse it further. It must have taken a lot of time to set up. Thanks for
Richard Caron /
Well, it's certainly done the rounds in your family, eh Richard? - David
Who invented this insane waste of time??? I spent valuable minutes of
my life just to get to the end, and what? Nothing! No fanfare, no
crowd cheering, not anything! I must be crazy, but I demand an end to
Alana - Edmonton, Canada /
Alana, demanding such a thing could really get you into trouble. You
don't know what you're getting yourself into! Get out while you can,
before it's too late!! Flee ....! - David
Alana later wrote ...I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me, it must be BGB withdrawl... sniff* I'm sorry... please don't make me flee the button, I... sniff... I.... I love it too much...
It was fun. I consider myself a bit crazy anyhow so the experience was a
good one. Of course I could have stopped at anytime but it's more fun to
explore. I'm a 62 year old geezer living in Mexico City with a passel of
grandkids and an appetite for fun. After posting this message, I'll be sure
to go on to the BGB 2.
Ronald J. Sefchick - Mexico City /
You really 62 Ronald? If so, you're the funkiest grandpa I've ever had the pleasure to meet! Keep on trucking! - David
Oh my gosh! I can't believe it! Out of those 100 buttons, I managed to
find the one button which led out (or maybe I should say "a button"...
there may be others... I must go back and check)! That one little
button, located at XXXXXXXXXXX Oops! Sorry! I about gave it away, didn't
I? Geez. How stupid of me. Actually, the Big Green Button 2 is much more spheroidally designed than the original Big Green button. I must say, that's one heck of a long
Say, how long have you been working on this? Wouldn't you say that toast
is cool enough to eat... and your guests are getting tired of waiting
for you... and that glacier blocking your front door has melted...
What requirements are there for entering the profession of Big Green
Button designer? Do you have to have a degree? a resume? brains? (I'm
wondering about that last one. Most jobs require some, but I haven't
seen evidence of any in this job yet.)
Brian Kell - small town in Nebraska, USA /
BGB designer? Hmmm ... well, I guess the only requirement I would have would be a healthy addiction to Mountain Dew and an uncanny abilty to hear dog whistles. A degree, resume and brains are optional extras. Please apply for this post in telepathy, and the judges decision is final (unless of course a suitably large monetary offering is made) - David
Brian wrote back ... It's simply amazing. Here I am, with a BGB2 Cool Comment Award. It's unfathomable. (Unfathomable? Is that a word? I hope so... I think I've
heard it somewhere...) I have been honored with the same award as some
of these BGB2 Comment giants, with poems, things relating to 747s and
cats in tumble driers, paragraphs reading "...button to button. Then
I'll button a button onto the button...", the recipient of The Longest
Posted Comment Award, and other great comment people.
And, if I'm next in line on the list, I will be comment number 50 on
page number 4 of the BGB2 Comments pages. That would make me, um, number
450, I guess. That is, assuming there are 100 per page, as you would
have us believe.
Not that you're some kind of trickster or anything. Just a nice old guy
who has way too much time on his hands.
You could be helping save the rainforest or something helpful like that.
Well, maybe this IS helpful. Yes, that's it! It's your destiny! You were
fated to be the creator of the Big Green Button!
I can just see it. God, up in heaven, thinking:
"Hmmm, we need some variety here. The Internet will be a major thing
here in a few years... Let's have some fruitcake invent a Small Yellow
Package of Bologna for someone to click on. Then it will just take them
back to the same page, over and over! And this cuckoo will install a
counter to see how many times people cycle over and over before they
figure out it's the exact same page! A brilliant idea!"
So God assigned the task of designing this to his head architect, who
just happened to be an angel named Frankalot.
After many rough drafts and revisions, Frankalot presented his proposal
It was much different from God's original plan, involving not a Small
Yellow Package of Bologna, but a Big Green Button. And it did not circle
back unto itself, but instead linked to other pages minutely different
from it; but distinct pages, nonetheless.
That's obviously it. It can't be anything else.
P.S. "Unfathomed" is a word...
Unfathomed is most definitely a word, and a very good word it is too! - David
i admit.. i am addicted to the big green button.. yes.. and i was
thinking, you should market BIG GREEN BUTTON T-SHIRTS.. maybe you have
and i just missed that part.. but i dont know.. if you have or if you
do.. I WANT ONE! heh.. so lemme know what up with that.. thanks for
providing me with weeks of entertainment :)
I'd love to make T-Shirts but not really a financially viable option for me right now! - David
Man!! I got hooked on the wrong freakin' button...Oh, I got through the Big
Green Buttons just fine, even found the one in the void...but I wasn't
hooked, I thought I was strong, believed I wouldn't ever have to come
back...BUT I WAS WRONG...here's the scenario: Afterwards I was perusing the
comments that people had afterwards and I was rejoicing in the fact of my
total button freedom, but...I got caught!! Oh, I know what you're
thinking...He bacame addicted to the BGB's..but not so!!...I tell you it was
the "NEXT 100" buttons that hooked thier liitle teeth into me, those little
bastards!! They saw my deep unconciouos need to peruse even more comments
from the afterward and they got me...I'm hurt, I'm scared...my will power has
been revealed for the thin translucentness it is...and the worst part?!?? NO
QUIT BUTTON!!! I fear for my future..the N1B's as they have refered
themselves have trashed my will power and they are now headed for my
soul...I'm scared David...you need to put a leash on the N1B's they're going
to get all the people in BGB Anon. and then you'll HAVE to face them....
Sounds like you really do have a problem there! I was not aware that other buttons of mine had 'the power' too! Yikes! I'm scared too! However, now there's a problem. I've just awarded you a Cool Comment Award so now you'll have more of an excuse to push the N1B's some more! Resist! You must resist! - David
Vonna@aol.com wrote back to say ... Oh, man.... I thought I was cured....
David, you're not helping me in any way... I tried to go cold turkey...I stayed off the Internet for 4 whole weeks...I felt great, refreshed, I thought I could resist the temptations...as long as I stayed away from the general area of those buttons....
But no... I get back and sift through my mail...innoecently i might add... and I get
this BGB reply... So, bieng completely cured as I was, I was unaware as to the possible contents, and I opened it....slowly I realized what it was.... Of course, I was pulled in by the fact of the award I had recieved, I even got the percentages... so I returned...I haven't left yet...I'll pretend it's me interactive screen saver... But, David, I'd like you to know...you're responsible for all this....
Hi, I'm Not Insane... just Blind
Pigheaded Stubborn. My hands are sore, by back is sore, my eyes are
stinging, I looked at the source code, but I can't read those so fat lot of
good it did me. At least I can find the source code, eh? Like my email name implies, I'm a redhead. (Blind Pigheaded and Stubborn) and your button was cleaver and I'm Still smiling! Good show.
My button was cleaver? Is that like a meat cleaver? :) - David
I've done it! I've gotten through both of the Big Green Buttons. And I have
to thank everyone who has not helped me along in life. It's because of them
that I can be bored and have no life in order to find the Big Green Button
fun. And thanx go out to who ever it is that was such a genuis as to of
founded the BGB. Thank you most of all. Parting is such sweet sorrow. As
Romeo said in Romeo & Juliet. Adieu
Angel - Tacoma,WA,USA /
Well, to be honest with you Angel, the BGB kind of founded itself. It's a living organism that evolved into the monstrosity that it is today. I can't stop it! - David
Hi.....My name is Jeremy......and, I, well, um....I DID IT.....I pressed the
green button, and I pressed it .....And I Pressed IT.........AND I PRESSED
IT......AND I PRESSED IT........AND I PRESSED IT!!!!! And, now I'm here at
GreenbuttonAnonymous.....to discuss my problem....I think it all started back
when I was a toddler...my grandfather had this big GREEN tractor with a
little GREEN button on it, and he told me never to touch it......and when we
moved into our new house two years ago, the circuit box had a little green
button in it....and I couldn't touch that either....and now I have my own
car....and I have this little green button, but in the owner's manual it says
that I can't touch it.....BUT I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.......so, when I came
to this page...I pressed every button I could find.....even the pictures of
the green button at the top of the pages......and then when you called me
insane....I FLIPPPED MY WIG.....I ran every where I coudl pressing green
buttons......I blew all the circuits in our circuit box....I started the
engine on my grandfather's tractor.......I turned on the A/C in my car.....I
poured cement all over some highway workers.....I started a movie in the
theater.....and then I went around the world pressing green buttons at all
times of the day and night.........AAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! I'm starting to see
greeen buttons everywhere I look.......my keyboard...the buttons they're all
green......my doorknob....my surge protector, my light switch, my stereo, my
tv, my vcr....my clock....my radio.......my lamp........AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHH
HHH!!!!! MAKE THE BUTTONS STOP!!!!!! Somebody help me....help me......The
buttons are coming, THe buttons are coming!! 1 if by land and 2 if by
sea.....Don't fire until you see the greeness of their eyes!!!!!!!!! THE
BUTTONS!!!!!! Thank you for letting me share my story with the rest of the
Greenbuttons Anonymous group....can anyone help me?
Jeremy - Amarillo, Texas /
Jeez man, I reckon you're way beyond help. It's just a good job that the President's Nuclear Strike button is not green! It's not is it?! God help us all! - David
The Big Green Button, First it makes you wonder what it is. Then you (think)
find out what it is. You then start saying things to yourself like "This is
really annoying". You realize what it really is. You find out it is the best
thing that has ever happend to you. You become addicted. You can't stop. You
start to worship your new god, The Big Green Button. It will stop you from
what ever you are doing. You can be in the middle of a divorce. You will drop
everything just to click The Big Green Button. No matter what you are doing
right now. STOP! Click The Big Green Button. You will find out how wonderful
it is. BGB addict.
What if you're in the necessary room? - David
David, I must say... That was the most annoying experience I have had in a LONG LONG time. I would like to THANK YOU immensely for it! I can honestly say, I have never
enjoyed being annoyed in such a fashion before. Kudos to you :)
P.M.S. - What really annoyed me was that bloody black page with your hidden
buttons.. I pressed every WRONG button before I found Mr Right Button. I
have since pulled out all my hair and considering an investment in Rogaine.
Well Joy, I'm happy that I could annoy you into happiness! That's not something that every guy can boast! - David
my dietary habits have greatly changed due to your Big Green Dot!!! How could
you put someone through the torture of searching for a green dot on a black
page and then forcing them to quit after 4 long days of dominoes for breakfast
lunch dinner and midnight snack!!! I think my cats and goldfish suffered
greatly from only eating pizza poor goldy is now taking an eternal nap!!! You
evil evil person!!! Well my free time is up. Back to the rubber room and
Laurie Clark - Richmond VA USA /
So you have a rubber room too?! I thought I was the only one .... they're fun aren't they?! - David
I was expecting some kind of Flanery O'Connor experience, that the
commentary would be better than the actual stimulus. (OK to clarify I
pressed the red quit after the first BGB cause I like new experiences)
then I read all of the comments. All 1300 posted comments.
Searching for the big green boxes was rewarding, even more so than the
BGB itself because it was slightly more challenging requiring more
effort but giving greater rewards in humor value. Still the BGB itself
required very little effort and yielded pitiful, meager, self
deprecating humor, but for the amount of pleasure recieved for the
effort given the BGB won out.
Is this a sad commentary on our existence? That some effort yields
moderate rewards while very little effort yields a very small but
discrete unit of "pleasure(?)". Maybe this is why so many people
parallel this to their personal frustrations (sex, taking out the
garbage, drugs, internet information overload, etc.) People will put
forth the least amount of effort required in the computer-age-induced
sloth. You could seriously write a social commentary on the mailings
you'd have recieved. I'll offer my two cents on your BGB web page:
You seem to be a decent guy , a little web knowledge, but no
intimidating Bill Gates style reputation yet. You're just another
cyber-sim on geocities, Accessible. The
I'm-just-starting-out-with-a-homepage-don't-flame-me kind of guy. So you
make up this annoying little game, playing on dual universal traits of
boredom and curiousity (both stemming from the existential angst
question of what-am-I-doing-with-my-life) Suddenly you're famous.
Fifteen minutes of fame pumping into high gear. You're known and
recognized in the internet community as the BGB guy to 115,000 different
people. All of whom assume they have a personal relationship with you.
(Had any stalkers yet?) (I am NOT offering!) People are struggling to be
recognized by anyone in this overpopulated, redundant thought world
(Notice how all the comments started to sound the same) People have no
creativity, thus there's no reason to get to know them. (Visit Northern
Virginia to observe this cookie cutter phenomenon.) you have what they
want. Fame. And they all want to get to know you. So they can get to be
famous, or at least be associated with fame.
Enjoy what you have, you've stumbled onto something bigger than any
professional psych/social observer could have devised. What you've got
hinges on what I see as dumb luck, but I also believe that chance favors
the observant personality. If you didn't start posting the comments I
don't think anyone else would have believed your 115,000 hit counter. It
was a snowball effect, everybody knows you cause everybody knows you.
Congrats on your BGBII. I don't think it will be as popular with
newbies as it'll be for the previous BGB junkies. Neurotic Obsessive
Compulsives like challenges that yield taunting dissappointment as well
as marginal reward.
If I sound a little harsh at the beginning please forgive me. If you
pay close attention to the commentary you'll see I fit the profile
exactly. The worst thing is I know it and I'm having a really hard time
changing. Now if you'll excuse me I have two midterms starting in the
next twenty four hours and I hate both of the classes. Talk about a
Tobi Williams - University of Virginia /
Tobi, you have delved deep into the psyche of me and my button, fished for a while and come up with an old leather boot and a Safeway trolley (How come they always end up in lakes?!) No, that's a lie ... you cast your line and landed a truth that is hard to ignore ... even if I try really really hard! I created the BGB for a laugh originally, to show my best mate Duncan. It became famous very suddenly and people were telling me that it was controlling them, but actually the danged button is controlling me! Do you see what I've become?! I'm a gibbering idiot! Fnar fnar biscuit barrel! Here, have a slice of fruitcake, m'laddio! - David
I started to press the button, it called out my name, the print said stop
but I new I must continue. With every click it comforted me and made me
feel relieved. I read the print and it only gave me more reason to be a
bad little boy and fulfill my desires. Then once it became addicting my
brain started to shrivel with every click, yet it was green and I needed
it. My brain was no longer useful by the black page, I had to call my
mommy to find the button for me, and now we are both two duds who can't
wait to do BIG GREEN BUTTON 2!
Brian S. Schreck /
So just how large is your brain now Brian? - David
I motion that we hereby ban the big green button, due to it's seductive
powers. Caution: do not operate heavy machinery or any vehicle directly
after use of the big green button. Not intended for use by pregnant
women or people with heart problems, as the big green button may induce
heart attack. Use only as directed, consult your mental health professional if you
experience any of the following symptom's. Nausea, vomiting, dimensia,
or uncontrolable twiching. The big green button is not responsible for
any injuries incurred as a result of use or misuse
The Foellmers /
Was it really that bad? Well, here's the ultimate disclaimer, just in case! - David
When I banged my head on the wall (some 50 years ago, or was it yesterday?),
my mother asked me, "Why?". I replied with sincerity, "Because it feels so
good when I stop!" Many thanks for another wall.
Do you know what you have created? Do you like what you have done to these
people. I experienced your green buttons and read most of peoples
comments, but am already too scurred up on drugs for it to have a lasting
effect on my daily experiences. My concerns are for those who you have
forced upon your feat begging for BGB3...4...5...6...you get it the point.
These people are now your children in your made up cyber world of
loonieness. Continue to let these mere mortals pray upon your feet, but I
will do none of the such. I have found one good use for your buttons
however, they are a great trip toy.
Tony - Chicago /
Children in my made up cyber world of looniness? Too many lumps of mouldy cheese for you my friend! - David
Thank you for sharing the Big Green Button it was excitingly whimsical. My
students often share such enlighted button pushing tasks and folder opening
ventures as they turn in computer projects for interpretation and editing.
It always brings the best of me out as I am a sucker and keep pushing ahead
to see what the next click will bring. Curiosity they say killed the cat but
my reply is always "Satisfaction brought her back." Happy Birthday to me and
you also have a great day :)
Does this mean that a cat can only be curious and then satisfied nine times? - David
Upon reviewing your Big Green Button, for scientific purposes only, I found
that your BGB would be effective in possitively identifying those who are
anal retentive and in need of serious counselling. I - being a counselor -
am offerring my services to your viewers at a nominal fee of $69.00 an hour
. I counsel
Klingons, but no Romulans, anyone else is welcomed. If you find a viewer in
the midst of a crises (i.e. suicidal) please contact me IMMEDIATELY at
1-800-GIVEASHIT, with their phone number and I'll contact them A.S.A.P. If,
however, they really wish to commit suicide, please call my friend at
1-800-KAVORKIAN. I know how easy it is to become addicted to sites like
this. I've been through it, and therefore I am understanding and empathetic
to their addiction. If you wish to contact me via E-Mail, please write me
at DrDuh@Dumponme.com/home/alone.again/BecauseICan'tGetADate, and I'll
endeavor to reply as quickly as possible.
Yours , Ms Duh
Ms Duh /
Upon reflection of your most generous offer for psychiatric assistance I must decline to endorse your services, due to the fact that you appear to be mentally unstable yourself. However, please accept this BGB award as a gesture of token appreciation - David
greetings and salutations,
thank you very very much for turning me onto the big green button. it's
the best buzz i've had in years. i will be faxing you 10 crisp $1,000
bills upon receipt from you of confirmation that you will send me as
many big green buttons as $1,000 buys these days.
thanks for a very entertaining page.
Stephen Fogle - / Stephen's Place
Just how much is a BGB worth these days? - David
That was the most incredubly DUMB thing I have ever had to experience. I am
sad that my friend thought it funny enough to email to me...the poor kid's
been cooped up at school for months...I am so glad he is coming home so that
we can reinstate his humor factor...cause if THIS was any indication...we've
got a long winter ahead of us.
Well, get out your long johns and your hot water bottle! - David
hiya David. I was just cruisin' through the 700's in the comments page
and decided to go back and beat the BGB black page once again. I have
not cheated even once. I'm not that familiar with computers and I
wouldn't really know how to cheat if I had wanted to. Oh well. The BGB
was fun. The very first time I saw it, I had been sent from a link on a
friend's page. I actually quit the first time. After reading some of
the comments, I figured out that there must have been more there for
those who didn't quit the first time. So I went back and beat the black
page fairly the first time. That was about a month ago. That day, I
also beat BGB2 which was much harder. But it was conquered. The BGB
comments pages have led me to many interesting home pages of some rather
unique people. So anyway, see ya.
Robert B. Miller /
It's good to know that I haven't posted people's homepage details for nothing and that at least someone checks them out - David
Yes I found the stupid green button on the terrible black page and I spent almost 30min, doing so. YES I am addicted, then I
finally find the button, I press and whatdya know I'm sent back to where
I came from!!!! Talk about going cold turkey, I NEED GREEN BUTTONS, and
what do you give me????? HUH? Bloody yellow arrows!!!!! Well I will
continue my quest for the green button in green button 2!!!!!!
No more big green buttons! No more big green buttons! All I need is a few
deep breaths! Breathe in and out, in and out! I'm okay now. Okay, time to
log off. Oh no, where's the exit button? Oh no, everything is a big green
button! Come here, kitty, kitty. Oh no! Where did she go? Everything's a
big green button. Must press! MUST PRESS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Save me!
BIG GREEN BUTTONS EVERYWHERE!
Rana - Chicago /
You really need to cut down on your coffee and chocolate intake you know - David
You've just pressed the Big Green Button. Already you're getting that
warm, glowing feeling that comes from losing a chunk of your life that
you'll never get back. Not enough buttons? Well, then, climb on in the Big Green Button 2! More buttons! More dead ends! More frustrating than ever before, and
with only three times the fat!
I love you... I'm not sure that's completely valid since I'm suffering
from post big green button syndrome...The Symptoms are as follows: Odd love for all human beings; Near permanent doofus grin; Subconscious toe-wiggling. There are many more. They are endless. Soon the world will be taken over
by people with wiggly toes, doofus grins , and endless love and
attachment to big green button makers. Please feel free to create new
buttons that are really big, really green, and really buttonish. I'm
damaging my button pushing finger by typing, so I'll end this by saying
please, don't let the green buttons take over, odd persons such as
myself are likely to become disgustingly normal.
Yikes! We can't have you being normal now, can we?! However, the doofus grin is always a good sign that you'll remain somewhat peculiar for quite a while yet! - David
What's with this site, there seems to be some mention of a "BIG Green
Button" or something, but, I'm not seeing it. Just kidding, I loved it,
I got all the way to the end (I think it was the end, I couldn't find a
hidden button on the page after the 31st?, the one after the black
abyss of Big-Green-Buttonlessness). Does the Infamous Big Green Button
have the same euphoric and life changing effects for the color-blind,
graphically impaired browser using, monochrome monitor owning, kill-joy
curmudgeons of the world, cause if it doesn't, I think you've got some
work to do on this site.
Sam Pagel /
Theoretically, yes. The BGB is a fair button and does not discriminate between computers and/or users (even Trekkies!) - David
I just have an empty feeling now - Shouldn't I get a certificate to print out or a coin like AA - this can't be all - Plus a return to beginning button so I can share this void with my friends because I didn't bookmark it would be an idea
yeah, uh, hi, my name's erin, &...(speaking under my breath) this is very
hard for me to do, but....I'm a green button-aholic. I've gotten to the point
where I am pushing green buttons on my computer as often as I possibly can...&
I sleep for 6 hours a day, & am at school & doing school word for another 8,
leaving 10 hours out of the day for other things, 9 1/2 of which I am pushing
all your little buttons!!! I'm proud to say I have now reduced my button
pushing hours to 2 times through per day...now, when's the third one coming
out? I'm at the point where I don't even have to think about it anymore on
BGB2, I know exactly which one it is, & I DON'T EVEN LOOK AT THE NUMBER!!! I
JUST KNOW HOW FAR TO SCROLL DOWN THE PAGE!!!!!
ok, that's all I have to say.
Erin, wow! You certainly are the most dedicated button pusher that I've had the pleasure to hear from. You must be very proud! Hey, even I don't remember which is the correct button! Just don't let your button pushing interfere with your school work, okay? Education is just as important as Big Green Buttons - David
As I logged on to the internet and checked my e-mail
I saw something that turned me quite pail
A link it was to an incredible site
I finally completed it (though it took all my might)
It took me eight short hours to finally finish
And now I must say: YOU DIRTY LITTLE @%^#$!@^%$ NOT ONLY DID YOU COST ME MY SANITY BUT THE ABILITY TO END THIS POEM WITH A RHYME!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aaron Safane - Ringwood, NJ, USA /
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Daffodils are kind of yellowy
And I was never any good at rhyming either - David
Have you tried "THE REALLY BIG BUTTON THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING?"
Hermanator - Gothenburg, Sweden /
Yes, and it's even more pointless than the BGB. At least mine annoys you and rattles your cage! - David
Since you take delight in wringing the brains and logic of your visitors, I will exact my revenge the only way I know...riddle me this! There were once two doors. But nay, these were no ordinary portals. For one held certain death, while the other your heart's fondest desire. Even more peculiar than the doors were the two sentries that were posted to guard them. Each one watching their respective doors with perfect vigilance. The sentries knew what lay behind each of the doors, and were bound by an unwritten protocol to answer one question and one question only from any adventurer brave or foolish enough to tempt fate by opening one of these doors. But one sentry was bound to always be truthful, whereas the other was equally restricted to falsehoods and they were under orders to post themselves randomnly in front of either door every day. Now you are permitted your one question to either sentry to ascertain the way of safety...what is your question? By the by, a more sinister page has never been posted!
Charlie Yi - Carlsbad/California/USA /
Well I would ask the sentry on the left the following question: "Would the other sentry tell me that the door you are guarding leads to my heart's fondest desire?" If he answers 'Yes' then I would take the door on the right - David
Okay, what's all this with the people making comments like "I wasted a whole day's work" and "it took me three hours" etc etc - I just did buttons one AND two, and it only took half an hour TOTAL! What's UP with that?
PS: I was hoping for a bigger payoff than "you made it." LOL!
PPPS: I love the taunting comments - reminded me of Monty Python and the
Holy Grail. You oughta include some of their actual dialogue.
Lisa Mallette /
Lisa, as good as Monty Python is, if I was to include some then this would lack originality. And besides, there's plenty of Python stuff out there on the web anyway, but thanks anyway! - David
I made it!!!! I have just found my way out of BGB2!!!! Do you realize
that I pushed all but 3 buttons!!! Yep thats right, another 3 and I would
have pushed them all! Do you actually relize the relief I got from
FINALLY finding the right button????? About BGB1 is there another button
on the black page???? 'coz now that I discover there is an end in BGB2
I'm begining to wonder about BGB1. Well anyway I'll be looking forward
to BGB3!!!! BYE!!!
P.S: Nobody cares what kind of expression Wild Goose chase is; I have nothing better to do; I don't have a cat; There are no cochroaches behind the fridge; There wasn't anything else that I was doing before; Who cares who might be president; I don't have a chicken in the oven; There is no end of the tunnel, you just reach the end if it says that; I'm not on my lunch break; Yes I have been on for, oooh that long, but hey what's an hour when there are buttons to be pushed? And finally, I have no 10,000 word dissertation due tommorow!!!
All but three buttons? Now that's what I call dedication! And yes, there is a proper button on BGB1! - David
Wow!! There was some actual closure to this whole green button thing.
Thank you for being merciful!!! Now, I know exactly how I'm going to use
that one phone call if I should ever be sent to jail -- I'll use it as a
modem line, sign on, and go to your satanic torture page speckled with
the evil buttons. After that, I'm sure that faucet water, stale bread,
and roommates named "Chainsaw" and "Wandering Fingers" won't sound
nearly as bad!!!
emmanuel mendoza - Cupertino, CA /
"Wandering Fingers"?! You know him? Nasty piece of work he is. Still, he's not as bad as old "Quivering Appendage Jnr" - David
WOW! i can't belive i just totaly wasted about 45 minutes of my life
pushing these big green buttons, it must be the crack, thats the only
reasonable explanation for it, who else in there right mind would sit
around and push big green buttons for hours on end, apparently alot of
people! The first bgb was cool it wasnt too hard or confusing, just amusing
and fun, but the second one, ohhhhh yeah i could just hert someone after
being tormented by that damn wrong way sign, and you leading us on like
that with that fake quit screen, thats evil...... you get our hopes up and
then smash them into little tiny pieces and then walk all over them. I must
have pushed about 1'000'000'000'000'000 big green buttons, or at least
thats how many are floating around in front of me. Well anyhow, I don't
know what kind of evil twisted voices in yer head told you that tormenting
thousands of helpless people would be somthing cool to do and amusing but
hell ... it worked!!!!!
BIG GREEN BUTTON PUSHER Benjamin /
Hey I don't really get a kick out of screwing with people's minds with my buttons. Honest, I don't! You don't believe me do you?! *maniacal grin* - David
do you give any awards for it taking incredibly long to get through the
BigGreenButton2 ??? because i tried it when it first came out last summer... i enjoyed the first one so much that i put a link to BGB2 on my home page (even though I'm embarrased to say) i never made it to the end until today! January 28, 1998. i recently became obsessed with finally getting to the end that i developed
a system... at that nervous breakdown page, you know the one, the page with
100 identical buttons on it? i made myself a little graph of the number of
rows so i'd remember which buttons i had already tried.... ok, so now that i've done it maybe i'll be more productive at work and actually get more work done and get that raise i so desperately need... or better yet, maybe i'll get a promotion and my whole life will be changed, and maybe i'll finally stop being such a procrastinator. thanks David for potentially changing my life! LOL
Kathleen Anstrand - Daytona Beach, Florida /
Well Kathleen, your dedication is inspiring and as such I have created and emailed you a special award button! - David
I wanted to kill my little brother, skin him with a spoon, rip out his insides, stuff him full of money and candy, hang him with a belt from the ceiling, and beat him repeatedly with an aluminum bat like a penyata!!!!!
David Johnson - Lawrenceville, Ga., U.S.A /
Ah, brotherly love! - David
What just happened? I was warped into another demention. This Big Green Button played with my ming. It did experements on me, I had no control overmyself, i lost it. Now it all comes back to me. What have you created, no wonder the president cant do his job and his cabinate member dont listen to him. No wonder those 747 pilots can freaken fly, and no wonder i forgot my name. We ow it all to THE BIG GREEN BOTTONS!
Tony - Chicago/Illinois/United States /
I have just one question for you Tony ... why was the BGB playing with a priceless vase in the first place? - David
UUUHHHH I thought that was kinda hard I guess! It was gnarly though!!! I missed 3 days of school, cause of you! Thanks!!! It really changed my life finding the BIG GREEN BUTTON 2!! it makes me feel like I finally accomplished something in life! Thank YOU so very much for letting me feel this way!
Erica LeNeve - Rolla, KS /
Erica, you are most welcome! I'm happy I could help you achieve this state of inner peace within yourself - David
Why is the button green? BGB2 was better than crashing into the freeway guardrail on a rainy day, THANKS!
Mike - Houston, TX, USA / Mike's Internet Parking Spot
Oh I don't know, that guardrail crashing can be quite fun ya know - David
HELP ME STOP!!! I JUST KEEP COMING BACK!!!!
Sarah - Dallas/Texas/USofA /
Sarah, throw away your computer! - David
Ok, I did this before this time I made a friend do it and she ran out of the room screaming, and telling everyone how much she hated me. (mind you, this was after over 30 minutes of trying it) then she came back and asked me to forward it to everyone in the dorm. (isnt dorm life wonderful?) I think I'll send it under HER name!
Rachael Chand - Lennoxville PQ Canada
We love the Big Green Button!! Keep them coming!
catie - burlington ct / catie's homepage
You may have to wait a while Catie! - David
Um, okay, I'm a 2nd time big green button user and the reason I came back is becoz there was a page that was completely black and I thought I'd found a way to find the right button... Where did that black page go? And I think Geocities is screwing you over becoz I had to reload alot of the pages becoz they "couldn't be found"...check it out...
Tatum - USA / I'm a cow...moo
Thanks for your concern but I couldn't find anything wrong. Maybe you're just going crazy? - David
Hey well i thought i was on the internet a lot BEFORE! Now i don't even have time to sleep!! Which probably explains why i decided to do this in the first place!! It was a little to easy....but i loved it anyway!! David, you sound wonderful and have an awesome sense of humor!! You HAVE to email me! Just one question, did YOU have anything to do with my brother turning into a big green button? or.....ACK! My parents are green now too!! What have you done you evil man!!!? I love it!! And I love you!!! Can't wait for the BGB3!!!!!
Sara - Coon Rapids/MN/USA /
Your brother turned green? No, that's nothing to do with me Sara .... it's probably food additives! - David
BGB2 is, like, woah man! I gotta push it again and again! it calls to you, even if you turn off the 'puter! Sucking at your brain cells! I went through both games in one night! Woah!!!
jay - Bristol, CT / Billygoat's Bridge to Nowhere
Both BGB's in one night?! Geez! - David
I have felt a sense of personal achievement...my self-esteem received a well-needed boost of power...I have survived the test and lived to tell the tale...I feel I can now conquer the world - or at the very least - BGB3!!!
Lissa Albert-Tenser - Dollard-des-Ormeaux, Quebec, Canada / My Studio
If you ever need a serious boost of energy and power, try downing ten 2-litre bottles of Mountain Dew. Okay, so you may be feeling a tad bloated and desiring the nearest "necessary room", but at least you'll be wired! - David
Deep on the edge of the center of the universe in the outskirts of the vast wastelands of space, on a tilted planet of primitive lifeforms and 3 1/2" floppy disks called Earth, there is a man who's sole purpose in life is to create mindbogglingly simple web pages with the sinister intent of enslaving the honest citizens of Earth with his Big Green Buttons of destruction. Not only has he currently lured over 100,000 victims with his Big Green Button, but he has gone so far as to begin his scourge anew with a Big Green Button 2! With two of the world's most insanely luticris weapons of plunder at his side, it is only a matter of time before he begins his succession of worldwide catastrophes. It will begin with small things. first you will wake up one morning and you will have found that your shoes are on backwards... when you never put them on to begin with. Then you will wake up in your front yard in the midst of the harsh elements, fighting to struggle back into the already locked front door. Eventually your troubles will escalate until you find that you are having accute symptoms of insomnia and you feel the need to sleep with green boxes next to your bed.
We must put an end to these Big Green Buttons... before they put an end to us... fight their seductive magics. Have will power! Don't be tainted by their seemingly innocent appearance! We must rise up and defeat these buttons before it's too late! Walk in the light! Don't be purged by the Dark Side!
OK, so I got a little carried away. I spent 3 hourse searching for BGB2. I searched through every button but still never found it. I finally gave up and asked a friend to reveal its location to me. It seems that I neglected to click the "QUIT" button when I got to the end of the right path. I was so relieved when I found it. my worries were over and my life was back to normal... or what one might assume to call normal. Only a sick and twisted mind could create a web page of such addiction ... I congratulate you!
Chase Beyer - Middle of Nowhere, USA / Chase's Asylum
Thank you for your kind words, and so, in fairness of spirit please accept this Cool Comment Award on behalf of all the little pixies the world over - David
To be honest with you. If I was to have pushed all the dam buttons in that room, and none of them went anywhere, then I would have taken my computer and chucked it out the window. I know that It would have not been my computer's fault, but I would have just taken all the intence agresion I felt for the builder of the Green Button and put it on to my computer. Ok, so I don't deel with stress to well. I'm a bouncer in a club in Dowtown LA, and you sould see what happens to guys that push my green buttons. *lol* I did however enjoy my self and I do beleave that this was a great idea. Take care who ever you are.
Raj Ponniah - Chino Hills/Ca/USA /
I am who I am and I plan on taking care of myself .... at least as far as I'm able! - David
I feel so relieved. I found many many big green buttons. Just keep pushing buttons. More and more buttons. Did i mention the buttons? The buttons were cool. There were a lot of buttons. I guess i should take the cat out of the dryer, pay attention to the security council meeting, perhaps get the chicken too. But i like the buttons. The buttons are cool. could you supply some more buttons?
Maniac Mike - Southampton, NY USA /
No - David
If I ever find you I'm gonna shove a glass rod up your "you know what" and break it!! You are truly one sick individual, and in some countries people like you are put to death in weird twisted ways. I hope you have fun in hell after you die!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just seriously pissed off that I didn't think of it first!!
Andrew Livingstone - Lennoxville, quebec, Canada /
*grin* - David
I touched the button, and across town, a vagrant starved to death. The second time I touched it, a cat had kittens. The third, a man from my hometown won the Texas State Lottery.I have seen the awesome power of The Big Green Button 2. Let us all pay homage to The Big Green Button 2. HAIL THE BIG GREEN BUTTON 2!!!
Chance - Arlington, Texas, USA /
Hey, at least you could allow ME to win the lottery! - David
too many big green buttons. too confusing late at night. please don't make the big green button people come after us. i promise i won't do it again. please i don't want to go to france. i can't speak that language very well. i would feel so out of place. did you know that i have never left the country before so it would be pretty fun, though. i would be under a different name, though, so no one could find me. not even my friends. i could buy a beret. and i could be a french artist and paint the original mona lisa. i will send you a copy okay. you could have the big green mona lisa button. that would be cool. well, i hear them (the big green button people) coming now. i must hide. i'll go get my passport. buh-bye:)
i must change it for protection - Kansas, New york city /
Well, here's a crash course in French for you. Learn and repeat this phrase and you'll be just fine: "Je m'appelle L'homme Qui As Oublié Son Nom et je ne sais pas d'où je suis, ou comment j'ai arrivé ici. Je suis fou et une dangeur à société, a cause des grand bouttons verte. Si vous avez la coeur aidez moi parce que je peu pas!" (Please, no gramatical corrections from anyone! I know my French isn't perfect!) - David
What the hell is this? Look what you have put me through!!!!! Now I am permanently seeing BIG, GREEN BUTTONS!!!!!! I got up this morning and it was a normal day. since my sister woke me up, she was sitting next to me, and her head was a big green button... Now she's got a big purple bruise on it! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE MADE ME DO!!!!!!!!!!!! As I walked to eat my breakfast, the cat stopped in front of me. It was a big, green button!!! It won't come near me again!! In my milk, my big bowl of ceral, were a whole bunch of big, green, buttons and now I can't even eat!! All my friends, the refrigerater, the trees, the lawn, the birds, the airplaines, the showerhead, every single piece of paper, the cars, this computer!! I just want to press all the big, juicy, green buttons forever and ever! ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!!!!! mmmmmmmmm, u will pay 4 this, yes u willllll. U look just like a big green button...
maggie - Chicago /
I can just imagine the courtroom scene now: Your honour, I, Maggie from Chicago, plead not guilty to the prosecution's charges of Grievous Bodily Harm upon my sister and Abnormal Pet Abuse upon my cat, for reasons of ..... oh my god! The judge is turning into a Big Green Button! Let me at him! No, let me go! I must hit him! Where are you taking me?!! Lovely year for the time of weather! Aarggghhh! - David
I will tell you the truth since this is for posterity i feel as though the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel is the headlamp of a proverbial train
the amazing bowl of pasta - winchester/va/usa /
Not a very smart move, being on train tracks. Trains tend to be large solid objects with a stopping distance equivalent to that of a pair of mating blue whales ice skating - David