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big green button
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"How do you feel?" ...

  1. I have a confession...I didn't find the button on the big black page. I just noticed a pattern emerging in the URL's and called up the last one. It told me I was insane, but I don't know if I can live with myself knowing that I cheated in order to preserve my sanity. Please email me and tell me I'm mad!

    Anthony Fernando - Australia

    Okay, you're mad! - David

    BGB Best Comment Award Anthony later replied with :
    I pressed the big green button because, like Everest, it was there. To be fair, though, if you make a big button, paint it green, and write "press me", then naturally it will get pressed. Its very purpose in life, in fact, is to be pressed. It is incapable of serving any function other than being pressed. It is therefore up to people (like myself) to press it, fulfil its functional destiny, and restore the balance of the Universe.
    The very same principle applies to those "Do-not-read-any-further-you're-not- achieving-anything" type passages of prose. People are powerless to stop reading, because it is the functional destiny of these passages of prose to be read. We need look no further than The Bible for further examples. God says to Adam and Eve "Here's the garden of Eden, go for it guys! Oh, but don't eat the apples..." So, what's the first thing that they do? They press the big green button, in a manner of speaking.
    So, there's my reason for pushing the big green button. Of course, you and I know that I was really bored out of my skull, browsing the Useless WWW Pages, and stumbled across your page by accident. In fact, I think I'll go back there now, and find my birthday in Pi (...manually).
    PS. Speaking of pressing buttons, have you ever heard of a "Digital Accelerator"? It's a hi-tech looking box with a single recessed button labeled "press", and the words "digital accelerator" printed on the box. You leave it lying around on laboratory bench tops on Open Days and such, and when some nosey bugger (and there's always one) pokes thier finger in and presses the button, they receive a minor electrical zap which causes their digit to accelerate quite rapidly. :) :) :)

    Anthony Fernando - Australia

  2. I feel sick. I actually searched that whole black page before I said to myself.."hey! check the source code....maybe it's aligned funny....well...i was right.

    Claire - Brampton, Ontario

    Clever girl! - David

    Claire also replied : Yeah...I guess it did serve it's purpose. (the green button I mean). Although it did not cure me of any disease, nor did it enlighten me spiritually, I feel better knowing I have accomplished what most have not. You were completetly right in saying "other times it's pure addiction" I think that's what it was for me. Just knowing that another button was waiting for me....calling my name.... Oh well, that's over and done with, and I hope it'll never happen again. Those crazy buttons though.....they keep poppin' up everywhere!

    One more thing: If you make another button.....could you please make it red? You could call it the cadbury's button(or have they done that yet?)

  3. BGB Best Comment Award Oh hush up :) Okay, so I kept pressing the silly button. But I did press quit before the end, I promise!!!! Then I went back and kept going to the stupid stupid black page. I looked everywhere, and I still couldn't find it. I think you were lying! How could you! AAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKK

    Leah - Oakland, CA

    Sorry Leah, but you obviously didn't look hard enough! - David

    On a second visit Leah said: ha ha! I found your hidden button! Ha! I've conquered you! (It took me three seperate visits to your evil site (sorry, I'm a bit bitter....), but I found it! Now, since you had to do this to us, you should at least supply us with some sort of support group, or something! Help! I'm addicted! Make another button. Make it blue. Make it BIGGGGGGERRR! Ha ha aha ahahahahahhahhah!

  4. This page kicks ass!thanks.


    Er, you're welcome .... I think - David

  5. Like going to Disney World

    Diane Neer

    Never been, but told it's never ending! - David

    Diane later wrote back: I have sent your big green button web site to my closest friends all over the US and Canada! So far it has received lots of chuckes.
    Thanks for responding. Your quotes at the end of your signature would definitely make you a favorite of my 3 year old daughter.

    *BLUSH* - David

  6. I can die a happy man!

    Rory Robinson

    Remember me in your will dude - David

    Rory subsequently wrote: Hi David, I had to write you back. I can't stand it anymore! I cheated on the button thing. You know that last screen where everything is black and you can't see the button? Well, I never found it. I changed the 30 with a 31 on the push30.html thing. OK, are you happy? I didn't really find it! I cheated! Does that make you happy?

    As long as you're happy, I'm happy. Personally I don't know how you can live with yourself with this act of cowardice hanging over your head! - David

  7. I thought it was excellent. Had to view your source! Well done! Now I'm going to steal your CGI stuff.

    Doug Greer - Canada

    How dare you! - David

  8. Actually, what I've done is tested YOUR willpower.... Ya see, I had the will to go on YOU didn't have the willpower to create even MORE BGB's!
    Funny. Useless. But EVER so cool!


    Don't tell me, you're a psychologist, right? - David

  9. As dumb as a sack of hammers in the rain.

    Charlene Vickers

    Huh?! - David

  10. I feel a little stronger than i'm not, and yet weaker than i actually seem to be. how disconcerting.


    HUH??!!! - David

  11. This is one of the most hilarious sites I have seen. I found it through the Useless Pages site ... I think you should do another one

    Heidi Pirani

    High praise indeed! Thanx Heidi! - David

  12. Want more buttons. Need more buttons!


    Maybe one day - David

  13. I think your big green button is cool, but the button on the end dosent seem to work... I saved your page then went to edit it to find the last button, found it, but I cant seem to make it work... Anyway, I thought the button was so cool that I added it to the links on my web page (in the making). Keep up the good work.


    Let me know when it's done - David

  14. I need more big green buttons! I strain for something green! Hey wait, this whole page is green! *BONK*

    Rob Speer

    Go forth and strain no more - David

  15. I feel horrible! I couldn't find the last button! Where was it? I have to know! The voices! Keep telling me..... find the button..... couldn't find it..... going..... mad..... must..... have..... button! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

    Kelly Leuty

    Yeah, it gets to you after a while! - David

  16. Its funny :) I like the idea, but tell me, is there really a button hidden on the black page? :)

    Jaimen - Australia / Jaimen's Home Page

    Do you doubt me? Oh ye of little faith! - David

  17. Great spiritual cleansing!

    Srikanth Meenakshi

    My thoughts exactly! - David

  18. Exhausted!

    Bob - Canada

    You should probably slow down a tad - David

  19. Ok...I confess...u really got me this time...I'm adicted... to pressing buttons...AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

    Lars Karlsson

    Happens to the best of us mate - David

  20. I dunno, i'm still laughing! Can i add a link to you on my site?

    Laura Hagen - Ohio / Laura's Home Page

    Of course you can Laura - David

  21. Powerful

    Greg Semos

    Go easy with all that new found power! - David

  22. Surprisingly relaxed...

    Andy Guerriero - Saginaw, MI, USA / Andy's Home Page

    Funny that, huh? - David

  23. No different than I did before

    Diane - Sydney, Australia

    You must be a very strong woman Diane! - David

  24. I can feel a great power flowing in my body... That was an unique experiment ! Never saw that on my long old life ! Mum ! Look at your son ! I'm a man now ! Thank you my god for this revalation !

    Michel Rousseau - Vincennes, France

    Michael, I'm glad that you've found your purpose in life now - David

  25. How do I feel??? With my HANDS of course!!!!

    Philip Nasadowski - Glen head, NY / Phil's Home Page

    Arf, Arf!! - David

  26. I feel relieved

    Suzi Culbert / Suzi's Home Page

    Glad I could help Suzi - David

  27. I read the other comments and realized I was missing something by quitting. They talked me into it. I reall have will power when I'm alone. It's the peer pressure that gets me.

    Julie Reckamp - Jacksonville, Florida

    Well now you're part of the 'other comments' so maybe your experience will encourage others to join the league of button pushers too?! - David

  28. I want my mom...

    Jeannine Bestine - Boston, MA

    There there, it'll be okay - David

  29. I'm always looking for unusual sites, and this certainly qualifies! Unusual, yes, but useless? How can something that provides this kind of entertainment be called useless?

    Jim David - Peoria, IL / Jim's Home Page

    Thankyou thankyou thankyou! - David

  30. It reminded me of the "It's a small world" ride at disneyland.

    Matt - Denver, CO / Matt's Home Page

    Another Disneyland comparison! I must be doing well - David

  31. BGB Best Comment Award This is the only thing I accomplished all day at work....thanks

    Tom Sherman - Des Moines, Iowa

    You're absolutely most welcome! - David

  32. We are developing a Team Challenge game on our web site we will let you know when we have completed it.

    Gavin and Xiwen - Miami, FL

    Um, Thanks - David

  33. I couldn't find the button on the black screen - How dare you!!

    Dan Rechel - Ashford, USA

    Well, some people just don't have the staying power! - David

  34. K2 made me do this. I wouldn't have pressed the Green Button but she grabbed the mouse away from me and did. Anyway, very clever.
    P.S. The women in the office oooh'ed and aaaah'ed over your baby pic.
    Ask K2.

    Ben Hoffman - Jefferson City, MO

    Thanks Ben. I'll get back to K2 about that, and please tell the women in the office that I'm a wee bit older now! - David

  35. I feel... with my hands?
    I feel... lots of little bumpy things in my underpants.
    I feel... Pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and..(Cough, cough, scuseme,cough)
    [It's a joke, O.K. I was only kiddin..ooph! ((HIT IN FACE WITH LARGE SMELLY FISH))]

    I fEeL LIkE a kID, ToLd hE cOuLD wRIte On tHe WaLLs!
    TnX, It'S BeEn a BlaSt!

    Benz - Scottsdale, AZ

    I see that you're just a wee bit confused about the whole affair. I suggest that you take a lie down with an ice pack on your forehead and relax for a few years! - David

    BGB Best Comment Award Benz also signed my guestbook with the following fantastic dissertation :
    I must ask this in a humble and sincere manor: "When I found myself face to face with 'The Button,' I, like everyone else, pushed it! But the messages kept coming back, not with stern warnings or threats which would alternately challange me to continue. No, quite the opposite. I found them to be pleading, in almost a deparate, anmost submissive fashion. Far be it for me to intensionally couse another pain, so I hit the quit button. Even after reading the comments of others, I feel it unmessisary to go back an even search for the lost button, perhaps it's the clues which were inadvertenly given away through the corresponcence, knowing the challange would now make it just a chore, but beyond that, I feel a kind of satisfaction, or rather, accomplishment, in my choice almost like it was the correct answer all along, and now, having made it past without the stain of the black page, I qualify for right of passage onto the next level. (So I have a lot of free time, read SciFi and believe in all sorts of unseen powers.) Perhaps I am just loosing,(lost), it. I can live with that. But I can't shake this feeling that there's more to it. It's obviously not a test of will power, but of character, and with all kidding aside, (oh, no, here it comes, another wacko living in Nah-Nah land), your answers and reactions to visitor comments, on top of such a unique, (still not sure it's purpose) attention grabbibg device, tells me your either a person of high wisdomw, or very lucky in finding the right elements, and combined them in an intreguing and porvoking mannor, purely at random. I don't buy the later. I guess the question is, (FINALLY, THE QUESTION), Is there more here than openly seen, or am I just in need of some serious psycological help? Thanks, BenZ
    PS Either way, it's still a cool site, and judging from the comments, a real nice distraction from the day to day stress of life. Kudos! Well done!

    Well, what can I say, except you probably don't get out much do you Benz?! - David

  36. It's amazing that people don't have something better to do than search for a "dot" on an all black page. That's pittyful! By the way, I found the stupid dot.

    Josh - Hays, Kansas

    Congratulations, and by the way I've been to Hays and it's not much more than a dot itself! Take it easy bud - David


    Kerowyn - New Jersey (The Garden State?!) USA

    Well, what you want you get, right? - David

  38. I felt relieved once I was finally able to stop!


    I'm assuming that you're talking about the buttons?! - David

  39. Oh, just wonderful

    Steve Cahill - USA

    Steve, I'm glad you feel so strongly about it - David

  40. Laughingly depressed ...

    David Gray - Tampa, FL

    Laughingly depressed? Sounds like a suicidal tendency case to me. Get the men in white coats!! Hup Hup Hup! - David

  41. Um... where's the other buttons? I want more buttons.
    Uh.. There's no more buttons?!?
    WHERE THE @*#&@*# ARE MY BUTTONS?!?!?!?

    Henry Herman - Washington, DC / Henry's Home Page

    Calm yourself now!! Kick back and chill out! - David

  42. Your big green buttons were absolutely positively gorgeous and turned me on no end!!! Say, what are you doing tonight?

    Bubbles - Sydney, Australia (No email given!)

    This evening? Making more buttons for you of course! - David

  43. My mouse clicking technique has greatly improved thanks to the green button.

    Carlo Diano - Dallas, TX

    Well, don't forget to keep practicing, otherwise you'll lose the technique! - David

  44. HELP!! I'm addicted to the button and you made me stop!!!!!! I even found the button on that all black page!!!!!! Now you've deprived me of my right to push!!!!!!! I'm coming after you!!!!!!!

    Crazy (No email given)

    "Eeeek!", "Egad!" and "Yikes!" - David

  45. Fulfilled. My life now has new meaning. Thank you so very much for instilling such importance into my existance!

    Todd George - Eugene, OR / Todd's Home Page

    Must have had a pretty sad existance before then, eh?! ;) - David

  46. I NEED the Big Green Button. Give me more or I'll be forced to do you bodily harm.

    Gary Diana - Champaign, IL / Gary's Home Page

    Yikes again! Anyone out there a personal bodyguard? - David

  47. The button sucks, looks more like a flat disk...

    Moe Hammy

    At last, someone who sees through the thin facade of the Button and confronts it for what it really is! - David

  48. I think you are lying about the button in the dark--It isn't there.

    Diane Cook - Oxnard, CA

    I hate to disagree with you Diane, but I disagree! - David

  49. Taht is with out a doubt the best thing ive seen on the web


    Thanks, but maybe you should work on your spelling first?! :) - David

  50. That was so exhilarating! Why did you make me stop? What's next, the Big Green Button That Doesn't Do Anything?

    Anonymous - Biloxi, MS USA

    Hey, you never know! Keep your peepers open! - David

  51. The first step is admitting I have a problem, but I am still in denial.

    Peter Johnson - Sandy, Utah

    I appreciate your honesty to me Peter, but if you can't be honest to yourself then you may aswell go and shout "I'm a bowl of porridge!" from your roof - David

  52. Sehr gut !!!!

    Stefan - Ebersheim, Germany

    Danke! (Sorry, that's the limit of my written German!) - David

  53. It was fun :-)
    Lots' of laughs

    Greg Malone - Porterville CA / Greg's Home Page

    Thanks for your inspired comments! - David

  54. Satiated

    ...an ethereal being from the aether... / The 'P' Page

    ......? - David

  55. I thought it was really cute! :)

    Michelle Bogner - Jackson, NJ, USA

    Thanks for the really cute message! - David

  56. insane ... my button ... my precious little button ... my life is meanless, without that button ... button, oh button ... i'm NOT hooked ... (what was that starting page again?) ... goodbye! ... i'm going to run under a running car

    Antti Holma - Sonkajdrvi Savo Finland

    Blimey, I don't half get some nutters round here! What kind of car was it Antti? - David

  57. It made me smile.And I thought that I would have to log of netscape.Good job!

    ken shapcott - Calgary,Alberta Canada

    Huh? - David

  58. Made my day. Thanks.

    Ron Kuhnel - Sacramento, CA / Ron's Place

    It made your day what? Wednesday? - David

  59. More Buttons, More Buttons, More Buttons,That ruled.That was the coolest thing I have ever seen. Did I say More Buttons Yet? Yeah I did. I thank I will say that Again, More Buttons, More Buttons, More Buttons


    Wow! A bit enthusiastic this one, methinks! - David

    Slinkey later emailed me saying:
    More buttons, More buttons, More buttons! Hey david look at my page I made two days ago and started putting it on different link pages. More buttons, More buttons, More buttons!

    Still a wee bit enthusiastic! - David

  60. the black page is stupid, this is useless!

    HELLFIRE - alymer/quebec/Canada

    One of the best compliments yet! - David

  61. B.A. Buttons Anonymous! Hi, My name is Roger I'm addicted to the Big Green Button! THANKS ALOT BUD!!!!

    Roger - Montreal

    It seems like I have quite a few members for BA now! - David

  62. Now I can go to sleep knowing that I have found the invisible button on the black page. Ha Ha I have never laughed as hard on a web page as I did on yours as well as some of the responses from the afterwards list. Would definitly like to add a link to my home page with your blessings, it will knock em dead for a good hour if not more providing they don't find the mystery button.
    Keep up the good work. Looking for more BUTTONS!

    Debbie & Harold Lantos - Montreal Canada / D & H's Place

    Blessings away! - David

  63. ITS WORTH THE TRIP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    That's a lot of exclamation marks! Must be all that Florida sun! - David

  64. This is the strangest page I have ever visited. I love it! Keep up the insanity! 8-)

    Joshua Hanley - Apache Junction, AZ / Josh's Place

    "Strange", "Insane"; I like this guy! - David

  65. I got more satisfaction out of pressing the little red button. It was a bigger challenge, being smaller and all. And I got many times more button pushing pleasure pressing the green button then the red button, then back to the original green button and hitting it again to get to the next page so I could push the next red button, then getting back to the original green button and hitting that twice to get to yet the next page, and so on. The page that had no red button drove me out of my mind.

    Emma - St Paul, MN

    Little things please little minds, eh?! - David

  66. I am on the edge of going nuts. I will never push a button again. This is going to affect me the rest of my life and this is YOUR fault. I just hope that you feel bad about it.

    No name given

    Oh, I feel terrible! - David

  67. FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!
    THIS SITE ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!

    Valerie - Los Angeles, CA : email - that's 4 me 2 know & you NOT to know

    Capitals AND lots of exclamation marks! I must be doing something right - David

  68. BGB Best Comment Award I dunno. A little more impatient than most of the people, I guess. After the sixth button, I jumped 5, and then I started jumping 10. I did go back to the black page. I can't believe you called that button hidden. It was as obvious as black on white. ('Course, it helped that my background was white.) I do think that you could use a few more buttons. One Big Green Button just isn't enough. I think you should have a Big Blue Button, and a Big Yellow Button, and maybe even a Big Pink Button. Then you could determine which was more likely to cause people to press them. Using cookies, you could make it so that they were only able to press one of the four buttons, and then the rest would disappear forever. If they went back to their browser-saved original page, and pressed one of the other buttons, you could force it to be interpreted like the button they originally pressed.

    One thing, though... Don't visit my URL. It's boring. I set it up to help me find a job. I found one. My homepage has barely changed since then. ('Specially since I'm now in Texas, & my provider's local to Indiana...)

    Ed - Dallas, TX / Ed's Place

    Hey, if your home page is so boring then why don't you make all these different coloured cookies for your page?! - David

  69. Dude, you have WAY too much time on your hands.

    Zeitgeist - San Jose, CA

    Tell me about it! - David

  70. Cool. Let me know when you take your vacation on Frogstar.

    Papa Frogstar or Steve KE6GMD - Cathedral City, CA / Frogstar

    Okay ... - David

  71. Great site!! Lots of fun for us button pushers

    larry smith - edmond, oklahoma

    Don't you go pushing yourself to death now - David

  72. Another way to cheat: highlight the whole page by clicking at the top and dragging down--the only place that isn't high-lighted holds the button. (My friend Matias thought of it.)

    Molly Zacher - Los Gatos, CA

    Damn your clever friend Matias!! :p - David

  73. BGB Best Comment Award I came. I saw. I pushed the green button.

    steve - butte, mt

    Veni Vidi Buttoni? - David

  74. very funny!

    midori ikegami - glendale, ca

    I laughed too - David

  75. You should have hidden the stop button better. What a bizarre web site. You must be as strange as I am to make something like this.

    Tom Shuler - Honolulu, HI

    As strange as you Tom? Yeah right! - David

  76. I feel that people who take up useful hard drive space by doing things like this should be shot.

    Xerfnab - Mars Asteroid

    My sentiments exactly, but people who live in asteroids should have their heads examined! - David

  77. I made it to the black page twice before going back to the point where there was a quit button... you, sir, are top notch

    Elliott Brown - Stanford, California

    I do try to remain top notch calibre (Let me know when your page is done) - David

  78. If I had it to do all over again, I would. I have no regrets. There is no button hidden in black page, is there? If there is a point I'd like to know. I played the game, where's the punchline? You owe me big time!

    Jerry Gregoire - Boston, MA / Jerry's Place

    Isn't power a wonderful thing?! - David

  79. Hey, ure button is really funny! But how about my moving puzzle? And my labyrinth? ...

    Alba - Germany

    Your moving puzzle is very moving, yet quite puzzling - David

    FILE CORRUPTED - Nine comments previously at this spot are now floating in the black void of nothingness that is the binary ether

  80. I wasn't going to comment on your site, but I couldn't STAND keeping MY secret. I found the hidden button but doing something REALLY underhanded, but much more creative than just taking a chance on a consecutively numbered URL. I DOWNLOADED your BLACK page to my editor, changed the background to white, then looked for the back button. Is there such a thing as a transparent button, one that, like a chameleon, would assume the color of its surroundings? Now that would have killed me or driven me insane. Fun site and a great idea.....

    Pat Dennison - Ventura, California / Pat's Page

    Chameleon image? Dunno, but if'n you find one gimme a call! - David

  81. How about a big green zipper?

    Colin - Australia / Colin's Pad

    Indeed! - David

  82. I now worship the ole mighty button. hail button, hail caesar, and hail hitler. mostly hail button.

    uummmm..me i think - never never land

    Hail men in white coats! Hail funny farm! - David

  83. BGB Best Comment Award hey, ive pressed the hole black page.there wuz no button.now i think im going 2 cry. :-(:::: there u happy now?and 2 top that off they were yelling at me.thats when i started hearing the voices. they told me i wuz mad becouse i stood all day pressing the t.v. buttons. but we will show them. me and my buttons 2 going 2 destroy the world!!he he ho ho ha ha.please e-mail. i dont think i kan take much more and hurry. hey pushing the keyboard buttons r alot funner than the t.v. bubye 4 now.

    greg - Carson, Nevada

    Who are you? Punctuation-Man? - David

  84. BGB Best Comment Award That was futility at it's most futile. Rather like life really. Don't talk to me about life. If this is living, why do I get the feeling that living is going to be the death of me?

    Mental debris - The dark side of the moon

    Hmmm, wise words from such a cold, dark place - David

  85. I feel better! Thank You! :-)

    Jakeswife - Massachusetts / Jakeswife's Abode

    Oh, it is so nice to recieve the occasional basic heartfelt comment! So, who's Jake? - David

  86. I don't feel addicted at all! That was fun! Thanks alot!
    Age: 9 1/2

    Kimberly Anne Bair - St.George, Utah

    Well, Kimberly Anne, I'm glad that you didn't succumb to the perilous evils of addiction. It can be a bit tiresome, and by the way, it's way past your bedtime! - David

  87. very cool!! Bravo!! loved it so much i did it twice...

    BoPeep - Jacksonville, Florida / BoPeep's Sheep Pen

    Twice?! Not many come back for seconds! - David

  88. i love this it's great!! im known as a button pusher by my friends and a friend found this site for me - thanks for the fun

    pepsi1 - milwaukee,wisconsin / Pepsi1's Fizzy Fixture

    Wow, what it must be to be known as a Button Pusher! Isn't that illegal though? - David

  89. That was too freakin' funny... I wish I'd thought of it first! Classic! I'm still red (whewh!)

    Michael E. Brichford - Houston, TX / Mike's Place

    Hey, I wish I'd thought of the wheel first: I could have made a hell of a lot of wonga! - David

  90. I think that you should conceal the source code somehow. I found the "invisible" button very rapidly by seeing that there were 6x10=60 carriage returns BEFORE the button and 2x10=20 AFTER and the button was aligned to the right. So I went down 2/3 of the way and put my arrow at the right... BINGO!!! All in all it made me feel good about myself and caused me to chuckle!!

    Mark A. Decker - Orlando/FL / Mark's Page

    Don't ya just hate clever dicks?! - David

  91. I need more !!! How much do you want for it ?

    Oren Liav - Haifa , Israel / Oren's Bit Of The Web

    Hey, you make an interesting offer and it's yours! - David

  92. Is it me, or do these buttons seem to be popping up like ... 'dandelions'? Good luck with your endeavor...

    Raul Delauralii / Raul's Place

    Well, apart from the fact that dandelions are yellow I guess you could be right. By the way, you have just about the coolest name I've heard in years! - David

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