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big green button

  • David, how did you come up with the idea of the Big Green Button?

    Well, it was like this: One cloudy morning I awoke and stumbled down to my kitchen in a bleary daze. On checking behind my fridge for ROUS's (Rodents Of Unsual Size) I discovered a rather nice looking piece of cheese which had a kind of green hue to it. I devoured said dairy product and within 20 minutes I was experiencing hallucinations of the most horrific nature. It was during this dream-like state that the BGB was revealed to me in a most awesome fashion amidst a swirl of colours and 'Skittles' ....

  • David, how did you really come up with the idea of the Big Green Button?

    Okay, so it was a great idea by my mate Duncan.

  • Will there be a BGB 4?

    NO MORE! NO MORE I TELL YOU!! Besides, three is quite enough don't you think?

  • Can I put a link to the BGB on my homepage?

    I don't know ..... can you?

  • David, can you rub your tummy and pat your head at the same time?

    Yes! I could do that before I could walk .... actually come to think of it I still can't walk!

  • How do you feel knowing that you've created thousands of desperate BGB addictees?

    Surprisingly hungry actually!

  • Is the moon really made of cheese?

    Okay, let me put this myth to rest once and for all .... the moon is NOT made of cheese! Not even low-fat 'Philadelphia'! You know that white stuff in OREO cookies? Well, it's not that. The moon is in actual fact one huge ball of tightly packed belly button fluff! You heard it here first!

  • David, can you pat your tummy and rub your head at the same time?

    I can even pat my head and pat my tummy, or rub my head and rub my tummy, or both, or all three, or all randomly!

  • Are you completely insane?

    Not today thank you, but three pints on Thursday .... flibble flibble, biscuit barrel

  • Who killed JFK?

    I have no idea, but I'm sure Barney had a part to play in it somewhere. However, I can reveal another deep conspiratory secret that has been kept hidden for decades .... Humptey Dumptey was pushed!

  • Is there any professional help I can get for my BGB problems?

    Yes, there are a few 'BGB Anonymous' help groups out there on the internet, set up by various BGB addictees in the past. However, I can't tell you where they are .... not because I don't want to, but because I can't .... they're anonymous! They don't even like people to know that they exist! They're obviously so screwed up by their BGB experience that they can't bear to talk about it

  • You spelt "realize" wrong in BGB2!

    Okay, so this isn't officially a question, but it does get mentioned to me frequently so I thought I'd address it here once and for all. This reply goes out to everyone whose countries have disfigured the English language :

    In the course of BGB and BGB2 I spelt the above word with an "S" (realise). Here in England we tend to spell the aforementioned word with an "S", just as some people would write "organise" instead of "organize". Okay, so maybe it makes more sense to spell it with a Z, to make the word phonetically correct but then England is a weird and complex place full of traditions and other odd stuff, which makes this country so, well, English. But I like being English and I won't change for anybody ... not that I could if I wanted to ... and I don't ... I think ... So get off my case! *smile*

  • David, can I pat your tummy and rub your head at the same time?

    I thought you'd never ask!